"EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATION" joke
EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATION
Date ____________________
Name _____________________
Department ________________________
Title _____________________________
Supervisor _________________________
KNOWLEDGE
1. This s.o.b. really knows his shit!
2. Knows most phases of job.
3. Knows just enough to be dangerous.
4. Stupid bastard couldn't hit his ass with both hands.
5. Fucker is brain damaged, a cup of coffee has a higher I.Q.
ACCURACY
1. Does excellent work, if not preoccupied with sex.
2. Pretty good, only occasionally blows it out his ass.
3. Does shitty work and constantly fucks up.
4. Couldn't count his balls and get the same number twice.
RATE OF WORK
1. Fastest mo-fo I ever saw.
2. Fast s.o.b., if he thinks he'll get a raise.
3. Does a lot of work, at salary review time.
4. Works only if kicked in the ass every five minutes.
5. Couldn't do less work if he was in a coma.
DEPENDABILITY
1. Very dependable little cocksucker.
2. Usually dependable at salary review time.
3. Conscientious, only if sex urge is satisfied.
4. Can depend on him to be the first one to leave a 4 p.m.
5. Completely incompetent, totally worthless.
COOPERATION
1. Extremely cooperative: Alias "Office Brown-Noser"
2. Brown noser in good standing.
3. Cooperative only if his ass is kissed frequently.
4. Thinks it is his job to piss off coworkers.
5. Doesn't give a shit; never has, and never will.
APPEARANCE
1. Extremely neat and orderly, even combs his pubic hairs.
2. Neat and orderly, at salary review time.
3. Needs to be introduced to toothpaste and deodorant.
4. Sloppy, dirty, filthy, smelly bastard.
5. Flies leave fresh dog shit to follow him.
LEADERSHIP
1. Carries a chain saw around and gets good results.
2. Constantly pisses off the troops.
3. Occasionally gets told to fuck off.
4. Only the janitors obey him.
5. Couldn't lead a pack of starving wolves to fresh meat.
I have read and understand my evaluation; I will attempt to correct all
deficiencies.
Signature_________________________
Date _______________________
An old married couple were driving down the road one day when suddenly the woman punched her husband right in the face. He shouted, "what the hell was that for?". She replied, "That was for 50 years of the worst sex I ever had!" As they continued down the more...
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
Blokes and golfers need to read this! It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they
were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and more...
One day a little boy over heard his parents in the bedrooom arguing,"You bitch, your cunt is too hairy! Whell your dick is to small bastard!"The boy was curious about these new words so he went in the room and asked what they meant. The startled parents did their best more...
There were three female explorers who decided that they would go explore the African jungle together. One blonde, one brunnette and one redhead.
They were near the middle of the jungle when a rare african tribe surrounded them. The tribe said that the gods have sent them more...