"Jewish Wedding" joke
A modern, Orthodox, Jewish couple, preparing for a religious wedding, meets with their rabbi for counseling.
The rabbi asks if they have any last questions before they leave.
The man asks, "Rabbi, we realize
it's tradition for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women at the reception. But, we'd like your permission to dance together."
"Absolutely not," says the rabbi. "It's immodest.Men and women always dance separately."
''So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
"No," answered the rabbi. "It's forbidden."
"Well, okay," says the man, "what about sex?
Can we finally have sex?"
"Of course!" replies the rabbi. "Sex is a mitzvah (good thing) within marriage, to have children!"
"What about different positions?" asks the man.
"No problem," says the rabbi. "It's a mitzvah!"
"Woman on top?" the man asks.
"Sure," says the rabbi. "Go for it! It's a mitzvah!"
"Doggy style?"
"Sure! Another mitzvah!"
"On the kitchen table?"
"Yes, yes! A mitzvah!"
"Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, a leather harness, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"
"You may indeed. It's all a mitzvah!"
"Can we do it standing up?"
"No." says the rabbi."
"Why not?" asks the man.
"It could lead to dancing!"
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
One day a little boy over heard his parents in the bedrooom arguing,"You bitch, your cunt is too hairy! Whell your dick is to small bastard!"The boy was curious about these new words so he went in the room and asked what they meant. The startled parents did their best more...
Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman.
So, one of the Englishmen walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder, and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a faggot."
"Oh really, hmm, didn't know that", replied the more...
What is the difference between a faggot and a refridgerator?
The fridge dont fart when you pull the meat out.
Q: What is the difference between a regular faggot and a midget faggot?
A: Regulars come out of the closet; midgets come out of the cupboard.