"The Peg-Legged Prospector" joke

During the gold rush in the Yukon, there was a bar called "Stake Your Claim" that served many of the gold prospectors. One night an elderly peg-legged prospector came into the bar and ordered a beer. The bartender said, "Never seen you in here before, are you new in these parts?" The peg-legged man replied, "Yep, just came up here from Californee once the gold panning ran dry there."
After the bartender served the guy about his 6th beer, the peg-legged prospector asked the bartender where the bathroom was. The bartender explained that the bathroom was an outhouse at the top of a little hill, just behind the building. The bartender said, "You'll have to climb up the hill for about a hundred feet, and the hill is really icy from all he snow we've been having. I'd better give you a hand getting up the hill, because you'll never make it with those peg-legs." The prospector said, "I've been walking with these peg legs for 50 years, I can make it up any hill, no matter how icy it is."
About an hour later, the bartender noticed that the peg-legged prospector still hadn't come back to the bar from the outhouse. He saw several other customers coming back into the bar from the outhouse and asked them if they had seen the guy with the peg-legs. They said they hadn't. So, the bartender started walking up the hill to look for him.
Eventually, he saw two pegs sticking out of a snowbank on the side of the hill. He grabbed them and pulled the nearly frozen stiff old prospector out of the snowbank. The bartender then said, "You stubborn old geezer, I told you I'd help you get up the hill!"
The peg-legged prospector replied, "I got up the hill just fine and was sitting down on the outhouse toilet, when all of a sudden some guy burst through the door and screamed, 'Hey, who put this wheelbarrow in here?' and threw me over the side of the hill!"

2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, more...

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Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan make your garden grow better! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan disorderly again! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan buscuits in more...

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Dear Mom and Dad,
Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two of our sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily none us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for more...

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What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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