Action Jokes / Recent Jokes

In the beginning, God created Heaven and Earth...
He was then faced with a class action lawsuit for failing to file an
environmental impact statement from HEPA (Heavenly Environmental
Protection Agency), an angelically staffed agency dedicated to keeping
the universe pollution free.
God was granted a temporary permit for the heavenly portion of the
project, but was issued a cease and desist order on the Earthly
portion of the project, pending further investigation by HEPA. Upon
completion of His construction permit and environmental impact
statement, God appeared before HEPA council to answer some questions.
When asked why He began these projects in the first place, He simply
replied that He liked to be creative. This was not considered an
adequate reason and He was required to substantiate this further.
HEPA was unable to see any practical use for Earth anyway, since "The
Earth was void and empty and darkness was on the more...

All babies start out with the same number of raw cells which, over nine months, develop into a complete
female baby. The problem occurs when cells are instructed by the little chromosomes to make a male
baby instead.

Because there are only so many cells to go around, the cells necessary to develop a male's reproductive
organs have to come from cells already assigned elsewhere in the female. Recent tests have shown that
these cells are removed from the communications center of the brain, migrate lower in the body and
develop into male sexual organs.

If you visualize a normal brain to be similar to a full deck of cards, this means that males are born a few
cards short, so to speak. And some of their cards are in their shorts. This difference between the male
and female brain manifests itself in various ways.
Little girls will tend to play things like house or learn to read. Little boys, however, will tend to do more...

All babies start out with the same number of raw cells which, over nine months, develop into a complete female baby. The problem occurs when cells are instructed by the little chromosomes to make a male baby instead.
Because there are only so many cells to go around, the cells necessary to develop a male's reproductive organs have to come from cells already assigned elsewhere in the female. Recent tests have shown that these cells are removed from the communications center of the brain, migrate lower in the body and develop into male sexual organs.
If you visualize a normal brain to be similar to a full deck of cards, this means that males are born a few cards short, so to speak. And some of their cards are in their shorts. This difference between the male and female brain manifests itself in various ways.
Little girls will tend to play things like house or learn to read. Little boys, however, will tend to do things like placing a bucket over their heads and running into more...

If a dog bites a man, they say, it is not news, but if a man bites a dog it certainly is. Well, yesterday this incident actually happened at the Pettah bus stand, Colombo. A man bit a dog. And this is how the different sections of the Sri Lankan press reported the event.

DAILY NEWS:
UNP THUG BITES A DOG
Yesterday, an innocent dog was bitten in front of a large crowd at the Pettah bus stand, by a man, who was later identified as a supporter of the opposition leader, Mr. Ranil Wickremasinghe. Daily News learns that the dog received only minor injuries but following the immediate intervention of the President HE Chandrika Bandaranaike Kumaratunge, he was admitted to the intensive care unit of the Colombo General Hospital Canine ward. In a statement, President also condemned the attack and questioned how long the Opposition leader intends to maintain silence on the inhumanity and cruelty of his supporters over innocent animals.? We should take this act very seriously. more...