African Jokes / Recent Jokes
Kanjibhai the jeweller called the police station to report a robbery. "You'll never believe what happened, Officer. A truck backed up to my store, the doors opened and an elephant came out. He broke my plate glass window, stuck his trunk in, sucked up all the jewellery and climbed back into the truck.
The doors closed and the truck pulled away."
The Pandu hawaldar said, "Could you tell me, for identification purposes, whether it was an Indian elephant or an African elephant?"
"What's the difference?" asked Kanjibhai Jaweri.
"Well," said the Hawaldar, "an African elephant has great big ears and an Indian elephant has little ears."
"Come to think of it, I couldn't see his ears," said Kanjibhai "He had a stocking over his head."
Meyer, a lonely widower, was walking home along Delancey Street one day wishing something wonderful would change his life, when he passed a Pet Store and heard a squawking voice shouting out in Yiddish, "Quawwwwk. .. vus machst du. .. yeah, du. .. outside, standing like a schlmiel. .. eh?"
Meyer rubbed his eyes and ears. He couldn't believe it. The proprietor sprang out of the door and grabbed Meyer by the sleeve. "Come in here, fella, and check out this parrot. .."
Meyer stood in front of an African Grey that cocked his little head and said, "Vus? Ir kent reddin Yiddish?"
Meyer turned excitedly to the store owner. "He speaks Yiddish?"
"Vuh den? Chinese maybe?"
In a matter of moments, Meyer had placed five hundred dollars down on the counter and carried the parrot in his cage away with him. All night he talked with the parrot in Yiddish. He told the parrot about his father's adventures coming to America, about more...
Once upon a time, long, long ago there were two unique lions in the jungles of Africa. Both, it seems, had human-like qualities that made them claim territory, daring the other to cross over the line. Strange as it seems, the boundary between their turf was a well traveled trail through the jungle.All day every day, both lions lay in the brush staring across the trail at their compatriot, daring him to cross into their territory.The local natives knew of this animal feud, but all this was unbeknown to African Jack, a well-known and must publicized guide who did not speak Lionese and was unfamiliar with the territory.While he was leading a safari through the jungle, walking all day and cutting vines with their machetes, all this constant hacking brush had them worn to a frazzle. After seeing two or three of his safari drop from exhaustion, African Jack decided to stop on the trail between these two lions and camp for the night.After sitting up camp, eating, and getting his safari more...
There were three female explorers who decided that they would go explore the African jungle together. One blonde, one brunnette and one redhead.
They were near the middle of the jungle when a rare African tribe surrounded them. The tribe said that the gods have sent them evil things and the explorers shall be destroyed. The tribe was going to shoot them with a bow and arrow in the head one at a time.
First they were going to shoot at the brunnette. She stepped up and they called, "1-2-3", but before they could shoot she yelled, "TORNADO!", and everyone ducked and lay down on the ground and the brunnette ran way while they ducked. The tribe got mad and swore but did not go after her.
Then the redneck stepped up and they aimed and yelled, "1-2-3", but before they could shoot she screeched, "FLOOD!", and everyone jumped and climbed up the nearest tree. The redhead took advantage and ran away. They got really mad and swore but did not go more...
There were three female explorers who decided that they would go explore the African jungle together. One blonde, one brunnette and one redhead. They were near the middle of the jungle when a rare african tribe surrounded them. The tribe said that the gods have sent them evil things and the explorers shall be poo head destroyed. The tribe was going to shoot them with a bow and arrow in the not head one at a time. First they were going to shoot at the brunnette. She stepped up and they called 1-2-3 but before they could shoot she yelled TORNADO and everyone ducked and lay down on the ground and the brunnette ran way while they ducked. The tribe got mad and swore but did not go after her. Then the redneck stepped up and they aimed and yelled 1-2-3.. but before they could shoot she screeched FLOOD and everyone jumped and climbed up the nearest tree. The redhead took advantage and ran away. They got really mad and swore but did not go after her. They didn't like people yelling fake more...
Virgin Mobile wanted to sponsor the national team. SAFA (South African Footballing Association) refused to let it happen. They said " How will it look if the team has Virgin written on their shirts when they get f****d up every other weekend?"
There were three female explorers who decided that they would go explore the African jungle together. One blonde, one brunnette and one redhead.
They were near the middle of the jungle when a rare african tribe surrounded them. The tribe said that the gods have sent them evil things and the explorers shall be destroyed. The tribe was going to shoot them with a bow and arrow in the head one at a time.
First they were going to shoot at the brunnette. She stepped up and they called 1-2-3 but before they could shoot she yelled TORNADO and everyone ducked and lay down on the ground and the brunnette ran way while they ducked. The tribe got mad and swore but did not go after her.
Then the redneck stepped up and they aimed and yelled 1-2-
3.. but before they could shoot she screeched FLOOD and everyone jumped and climbed up the nearest tree. The redhead took advantage and ran away. They got really mad and swore but did not go after her.
They didn't like people yelling more...