Birth Control Jokes / Recent Jokes

A team of scientists have invented a condom that plays music.

Pick your punchline:
A) The team of scientists working on making the penis itself sing, have thrown in the towel.
B) Next up, a birth control pill that makes the vagina say "That song is so long."
C) You can download cock-ringtones.
D) If it breaks, it will give whole new meaning to "the song you were conceived to."
E) Some men have responded by nicknaming their penis "The Fat Lady."
F) It plays "Into the Mystic."
G) Or "Come Together."
H) Stop me.

I think that we should abort every fetus and use them for stem-cell research. That way stem-cell research would advance so far so fast that we wouldn't need to bring new people into the world because the people already here would live forever.

The government of South Dakota recently outlawed all abortions even in cases of rape or incest, so if your daddy rapes you, you still have to have the baby. Which should pretty much account for the government of South Dakota.
A South Dakota Senator said that abortion has become a "convenience" for young girls. Like you're in the middle of sex, and she says, "What, you don't have a rubber? I'm not on the pill... oh, hell with it, I'll have an abortion. No sweat, get it at Wal-Mart. They have a clinic, $19.95. And you want a laugh? It's right next to the Pampers! Law-zee!"

Minors in Alabama will now need written parental permission in order to get a body piercing. Those who want a tongue stud may bypass the new law by simply wearing a T-shirt that says, “I suck dick.”

The FDA approved the Plan B morning-after pill for females over the age of 18.
Females under the age of 18 will have to use Plan C- the coat hanger.

Dirk Nowitzki's ex-girlfriend is allegedly pregnant with his child. You can actually tell it's his because it flopped during the ultrasound.

I am pro-choice and pro-choice for one reason alone. Look at the trailor park. Some genetic disasters need to be stopped.