Boyfriend Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man and his girlfriend are at a bar when the girl goes to the bathroom. When she comes back she’s crying. Her boyfriend asks her what happend.
“As I was leaving the bathroom, a big guy at the pool table said he wanted to kiss my breasts all night long”!
The boyfriend stood up from his stool and takes off his jacket.
“He also said he wants to screw me all night long”!! By this time the boyfriend is furious and starts walking to the pool table.
“He said he wants to drink beer from my pussy all night”!!! The boyfriend stops, turns around, sits back up on his stool and grabs his beer.
His girlfriend is stunned, and asks why he wasn’t doing anything about the jerk at the pool table.
The boyfriend says “I’m sorry Honey, - but I’m not messing around with a guy that can drink that much beer”!

In a train compartment a young couple and an elderly, somewhat ragged old man were sitting.

The girl looks like she's having some discomfort so her boyfriend asks her, "What's wrong honey?"

She replies. "My head hurts."

Her boyfriend kisses her forehead, and asks her, "Is it better now?"

"Yes," she says.

Then he asks, "Does it hurt somewhere else?"

"Here," she replies, pointing to her lips.

So the boyfriend kisses her lips. "Is it better now?"

"Much better." "Anywhere else?"

She replies by pointing to her neck. So the boyfriend kisses her neck

Annoyed at the pitiful public display, the elderly man asks the young man, "Excuse me son, do you do hemorrhoids?"

What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
About 45 minutes.What's the difference between a husband and a boyfriend?
About 45 minutes.

A friend of mine (Dave) told me this story over the summer,
and swore up and down that it's true (he says he witnessed it).
It sounds a little far-fetched, but is amusing nonetheless.
Here's the story:
Dave was standing in the parking lot of a 7-11 store when this
guy walked out of the store with a six pack (of beer he assumed)
in a brown paper sack. The guy walked between two cars and when
he did, the bag lightly touched one of the cars. As it turned
out, a guy and his girlfriend were sitting in the car, and the
boyfriend (trying to impress his girlfriend) got out of the car
and started bitching at this beer-guy for scratching his car. So
the beer-guy apologized but the boyfriend kept on ranting.
After a while, the beer-guy said, "If it'll make you feel any
better, go over and kick a few dents in my truck" and pointed to a
beat up pickup truck across the parking lot.
So the boyfriend
went over and started more...

A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the
doctor notices a red' H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your
chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud
of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she
replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes
off her blouse, he notices a blue' Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on
your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud
of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she
replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes
off her blouse, he notices a green' M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at
Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do
you more...

blond and her blond boyfriend went for a walk along the river.

The blond walked across alone on a wooden bridge. After crossing the river, the bridge fell down.

She called across to her blond boyfriend telling him that she couldn't get back.

He yelled in response, "Wait until dark, and I will shine my flash light across the river. Get on the light beam and walk back."

She replied, "No, I'll get half way across the river, and you will turn the light off on me!"

Dear Abby,
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese? -
-Curious
Dear Abby,
I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.
Dear Abby,
I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.
Dear Abby,
I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again.
Dear Abby,
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?
Dear Abby,
I more...