Boyfriend Jokes / Recent Jokes

Consider the following:Female guitar player shouting at her boyfriend in acrowded shopping mall: "Don't forget, sweetheart, I need a new G string!"

This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I'll sink?"

Dear Mother and Dad: It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read any further unless you are sitting down... Okay? Well, then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival, are pretty well healed now. I only spent two weeks in the hospital and now I can see almost normally and only get three headaches a day. Fortunately the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm and he was the one who called the Fire Department and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital, and since I had nowhere to live because of the burnt-out dorm, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him. It`s more...

WHAT WOMEN SAY & REALLY MEAN:CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS?
There is no way in hell I'm going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, again.I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.
... without you in it.DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?
We haven't had a fight in a while.NO, PIZZA'S FINE.
... you cheap slob! I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW.
I just don't want you as a boyfriend now.I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
I can't believe you have nothing planned.COME HERE.
My puppy does this, too.I LIKE YOU, BUT...
I don't like you.OF COURSE I LOVE YOU.
... just not in that way.YOU NEVER LISTEN.
You never listen.WE'RE MOVING TOO QUICKLY.
I'm not going to sleep with you until I find out if this guy at the gym has a girlfriend.I'LL BE READY IN A MINUTE.
I'm ready, but I'm going to make you wait because I know you will.OH, NO, I'LL PAY FOR MYSELF.
I'm just being nice; there's no way I'm going dutch.OH YES!!! RIGHT THERE!!
Well, near there; I just more...

If you meet a woman, and you like her, then she...
has a jealous boyfriend 6'4" 280 pounds
is a confirmed lesbian
only wants to be friends
doesn't notice you're even alive
About who tries to pick you up; if you're:
heterosexual, then homosexuals will try
homosexual, then heterosexuals will try
bi-sexual, then, no one will try
with someone special, everyone will try
About finding love; if you:
hope you found it, you'll be disappointed
think you found it, you're wrong
believe you found it, you're misinformed
have found it, you won't know until too late
About winning/losing; if you:
don't have anything to lose, you won't win
have something to lose, you'll lose it
do win, it's only so you can lose more later
If she appears to be having a good time, it's because:
she's fanaticizing, and not of you, either
she's been eyeing-up someone else
she's trying to make someone jealous
About dating, if more...

"My boyfriend says I look like a dishy Italian!"said Miss Conceited. Then hes right said her little brother. Sophia Loren?"No-spaghetti!

Jokes Difference between boys and girls while using ATM (Bank's cash dispenser machines) Boys: 1. Drive to the bank, park and go to the Cash Dispenser. 2. Insert card 3. Dial code and desired amount 4. Take the cash, the card and the slip Girls: 1. Drive to the bank 2. Engine stalled 3. Check make-up in the mirror 4. Apply perfume 5. Manually check haircut 6. Park the car - failure 7. Park the car - failure 8. Park the car - Success 9. Search for the card in the handbag 10. Insert card, rejected by the machine 11. Throw phone card back in handbag, 12. Look for bank card. 13. Insert Card 14. Look for Secret Box (where secret code is written)in Handbag 15. Enter code 16. Study instructions for 2 minutes 17. #Cancel# 18. Re-enter code 19. #Cancel# 20. Call Boyfriend/husband to get correct the code 21. Enter desired amount 22. #Error# 23. Enter bigger amount 24. #Error# 25. Enter maximum amount 26. Cross fingers 27. Take cash 28. Go back to the car 29. Check make up in rear mirror 30. more...