Cell Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: Imagine you are stuck in a cell, no windows, no doors pretty much nothing. How do you get out?
A: -Stop imagining!-
The AOL Car
The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH speedometer.
The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player.
The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this and try again later.
The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars.
AOL would sell the same model car year after year and claim it's the NEW model.
Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would just "lock-up" for no apparent reason.
The AOL car would have a very plain body style but would have lots'a pretty colors and lights.
The AOL car would have only one door but it would have 5 extra seats for family members.
Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must continue to make payments for 6 months.
If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL would take the car off of more...
A 21-year-old Hartford man was sentenced to 48 years in prison Wednesday for killing a convicted drug dealer during an argument over a cell phone. Apparently Connecticut is unfamiliar with Social Darwinism.
what do you call a blonde with a single brain cell?
genius
what do you call a blonde with 2 brain cell?
pregnant
The Associated Press reports that students are downloading a ring tone off the Internet that is too high-pitched to be heard by most adults. With it, high schoolers can receive text message alerts on their cell phones without the teacher knowing.
I've known about a special alert that adults can't hear for years now. It's called vibrate.
My mother's a teacher, and actually I'm happy about this setting. Sure she may lose control of a classroom full of texters, but it'll save me the 45 minute "how to open text messages" tutorial each time she confiscates a cell phone.
A group of lawyers checked their cell phones with the courtroom bailiff to begin another day of trial.
At the end of the day, they were packing up to leave, and a cell phone rang. One of the lawyers picked it up.
"Hi Honey, are you done with court today?"
"I sure am."
"Well, I am calling from the mall. I saw this amazing jacket, but it costs $2, 200. What do you think?"
"Do you like it?"
"I love it."
"Then you should get it."
"Thanks! But you know I was also thinking about the Mercedes I was looking at the other day, and I know that it will cost over $100, 000 to get the options I want."
"Don't worry about it. Just make sure you are happy with it."
"That's so great. Oh, and one other thing. You know that house I have had my eye on for that last few years? It just went on the market, and it is more...
How to identify where a driver is from...
One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: New York
One hand on wheel, one finger out window: Chicago
One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston
One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator:California *with gun in lap: L.A.
Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.
Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy
One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game: Seattle
One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window: Texas city male
One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in more...