Cell Jokes / Recent Jokes
A young man, wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So, he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited and she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the blonde goes to get her hair done. Her phone rings and it’s her husband. “Hi hon, ” he says, “How do you like your new phone? ” “I just love it, it’s so small and your voice is clear as a bell. But there’s one thing I don’t understand. How did you know I was at the beauty parlor? ”
This man got his prescription for Viagra, and goes home to get ready for when his wife gets home. He calls her on the cell phone, and she says, "I'll be home in an hour."
"Perfect," he replies.
The man thinks her agreement is because the Doctor told him to take his Viagra an hour before. He takes the Viagra and waits. Well, and hour goes by, the man is ready to go, but no wife!
She calls him on the cell phone and she says, "Traffic is terrible. I won't be there for about an hour and a half."
The man, frustrated, calls his Doctor for advice. "What should I do?" he asks.
The Doctor replied, "It would be a shame to waste it. Do you have a housekeeper around?"
"Yes" the man replied.
"Well, maybe you can occupy yourself with her instead?" said the Doctor.
The man then replied with dismay, "But I don't need Viagra with the more...
A blond gets a new cell phone from her husband.
The next day she goes to Wal-mart and her phone rings, so she answers it. It was her husband. He says, "How's the new cell phone?" She replied, "Great...but how did you know I was at Wal-mart?"
After no luck 2 hunter from the Bronx decided to get back to their car and go back to Ney York. Suddenly as they were walking 1 of the men callopsed, the other rushed checked his pulse, he was dead, the man pulled out his cell phone and dialed 911 the operator said "okay the first thing to do is make sure he's dead." the man pulled out his rifle walked over and shot his friend in the head picked the cell phone and "okay, now what?".
Latest news reports advise that a cell of 4 terrorists have been operating in New Orleans, Louisiana. Police advised earlier today that 3 of the 4 had been detained.
The Police Superintendent stated that the terrorists Bin Sleepin, Bin Drinkin and Bin Fightin have been arrested on immigration issues.
The police advise further that they can find no one fitting the description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, in the area.
Police are confident that anyone who looks like Workin will be very easy to spot in the community.
Q: What's the difference between cell phones and tampons?
A: Cell phones are for assholes!!