Classic Jokes / Recent Jokes

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody has.

Remember When (Classic)
A computer was something on TV From a science fiction show A window was something you hated to clean... And RAM was the cousin of a goat...
MEG was the name of my girlfriend And GIG was your middle finger upright Now they all mean different things And that really MEGA bytes
An application was for employment A program was a TV show A cursor used profanity A keyboard was a piano
Memory was something that you lost with age A CD was a bank account And if you had a 3 1/2" floppy You hoped nobody found out
Compress was something you did to the garbage Not something you did to a file And if you unzipped anything in public You'd be in jail for a while
Log on was adding wood to the fire Hard drive was a long trip on the road A mouse pad was where a mouse lived And a backup happened to your commode
Cut you did with a pocket knife Paste you did with glue A web was a spider's home And a virus was the flu
I guess i'll stick to my pad and more...

There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke which she placed on a counter by the machine.
Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change.
She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mountain Dew. As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man who had been waiting patiently for several minutes now spoke up.
"Excuse me Ms. but are you done yet?" She looked at him and indignantly replied: "Well Duhhh!, I'm still winning"

There was a beautiful young blonde at a soda machine in Vegas, and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst.
She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a short while, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke. She placed it on a counter next to the machine.
Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change.
She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mountain Dew. She placed them both on the counter next to the Diet Coke.
As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man, who'd been waiting patiently for several minutes by then, spoke up.
"Excuse me, miss, but are you done yet?"
She looked at him and indignantly asked, "Well Duh! more...

There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke which she placed on a counter by the machine.
Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change.
She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mountain Dew. As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man who had been waiting patiently for several minutes now spoke up.
"Excuse me Ms. but are you done yet?" She looked at him and indignantly replied: "Well Duhhh!, I'm still winning"

There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke which she placed on a counter by the machine. Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change. She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mountain Dew. As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man who had been waiting patiently for several minutes now spoke up. "Excuse me Ms. but are you done yet?" She looked at him and indignantly replied: "Well Duhhh!, I'm still winning"

There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke which she placed on a counter by the machine. Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change. She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mountain Dew. As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man who had been waiting patiently for several minutes now spoke up.
"Excuse me Ms. but are you done yet?"
She looked at him and indignantly replied: "Well Duhhh!, I'm still winning."