Counselor Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife about the problem. She responds, "My husband suffers from premature ejaculation."The counselor turns to her husband and inquires "Is that true?" The husband replies "Well not exactly, she's the one that suffers, not me."

A husband was worried about the decline in the quality of his marriage so he discreetly went to a marriage counselor to discuss the problem.
The counselor asked, "Do you kiss your wife when you get home from work, remind her every now and then of how much you love her, and show her all the little attentions that you did during the first few years of your marriage?"
"Uhh, no, I guess not," the husband replied.
"That happens with many married couples," the counselor replied. "I suggest that you begin starting today to do all those little nice things for her...fuss over her, buy her flowers, bring candy home to her, and try to be a lover again instead of just a husband."
"That sounds good to me. You're right. I'll start this evening."
So when the husband got home that night, he presented his wife at the door with a dozen long-stemmed roses, gave her a big hug and kiss and said, "We're going out on the town more...

A husband was worried about the decline in the quality of his marriage so he discreetly went to a marriage counselor to discuss the problem.The counselor asked, "Do you kiss your wife when you get home from work, remind her every now and then of how much you love her, and show her all the little attentions that you did during the first few years of your marriage?""Uhh, no, I guess not," the husband replied."That happens with many married couples," the counselor replied. "I suggest that you begin starting today to do all those little nice things for her...fuss over her, buy her flowers, bring candy home to her, and try to be a lover again instead of just a husband.""That sounds good to me. You're right. I'll start this evening."So when the husband got home that night, he presented his wife at the door with a dozen long-stemmed roses, gave her a big hug and kiss and said, "We're going out on the town tonight, sweet lips, just the more...

A Counselor saw a camper sitting alone. Why dont you play with your friends? he asked. Because I only have one friend, the girl replied. And I hate her.

a man was talking to his marriage counselor. he complained "you know, doc, in situations of great pressure, my wife keeps her head instead of giving it".

I heard these somewhere:
Minnie and Max had been married for 18 years. As Minnie grew
older and less attractive, Max became disinterested and his
libido started to wane dramatically. In desperation, Minnie
hauled him before a marriage counselor. The marriage counselor
listened patiently to Minnie's complaints and to Max's
protestations. Max said he was being nagged unmercifully
Minnie said that Max was causing her anguish.
Finally the marriage counselor issued a verdict. "Max," he said,
"from now on, no matter how you feel, you must give Minnie her
conjugal rights at least semi-annually."
Minnie was delighted and they left the counselor's chambers.
On the way downstairs she nudged Max, "Tell me Max, how many
times a week is semi-annually?"
Deep in the Tennessee hills, a farmer's mule kicked his mother-in-law
to death. An enormous crowd of men turned out for the funeral.
The minister, more...

A married couple were going through some rough times in their marriage. The sexual drive was lacking, the passion gone. So they decided to go to see a marriage counselor. After a few sessions, the counselor realized nothing he could do would help. However, he still suggested that the couple go on a cruise, to see if they could rekindle any of the romance they once had. They schedule a follow up visit for 2 weeks later.
The couple go on the cruise. The first night, they go dancing, swimming, and enjoy the many other activities on the ship. At about 1 AM they retire to their cabin, exhausted. They got a doubles room when booking their cruise, so the beds in their cabin are bunked. The woman looks to her husband after they prepare for bed and asks "Up or down?" Suddenly, her husband grabs her, throws her on the bottom bunk, and they proceed to make wild, passionate love. Needless to say, the rest of their cruise was spent mostly indoors, enjoying the new found more...