Crying Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two sisters came home from school crying their hearts out.

"What's wrong with you both? asked the mother.

The first sister started wailing. All the kids at school ever do is make fun of my big feet."

"There, there," soothed the mother. "Your feet aren't that big." She turned her attention to the second sister. "Now why are you crying?"

"Because I've been invited to a ski party," weeped the second sister, "and I can't find my skis."

"That's okay, said the mother, "you can borrow your sister's shoes."

Theres these three guys in a plane. One holding a stick, one holding a rock, and another holding a bomb. Suddenly the plane started falling and the stick, the rock, and the bomb fell out the open door. When the plane reached the ground, the three guys started walking down the street to find a hospital. On the way, they see a little boy crying. They asked what was wrong, and the boy replied 'i was looking at the clouds, and a stick came down and poked me in the eye. They walked down further and saw a girl crying. When they asked what happened she said " I was walking down the path, and a rock came down and hit my head. They walked even further and saw an old man laughing. They him why he was laughing and the man replied. When i farted, the house behind me exploded!

>> > > When I went to lunch today, I noticed this lady
>> > > about 75-80 years old sitting on a park bench near
>> > > J. C. Penney and she was sobbing her eyes out.
>> > > I stopped and asked her what was wrong.
>> > > She said: "I have a 22 year old husband at home.
>> > > He makes love to me every morning and then gets up
>> > > and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and>> > > freshly
>> > > ground, brewed>> > > coffee."
>> > > I said: "Well, then why are you crying?"
>> > > She said: "he makes me homemade soup for lunch and
>> > > my favorite brownies>> > > and then makes love to me half the afternoon."
>> > > I said: "Well so why are you crying?"
>> > > She said: "For Dinner he makes me a gourmet meal
>> > > with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes>> > > love
>> > > to me until 2: 00am.">> > > I said: "Well, why in the world would you more...

Sally goes to work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned his employee, walks over to her and asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call that my mother had passed away."

The boss, feeling very sorry at this point suggests to the young girl, "Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take
the day off and go relax."

Sally very calmly states, "No I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind busy and I have the best chance of doing that here."

The boss agrees and allows her to work as usual. "If you need anything just let me know" says the boss.

A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on Sally. He looks out his office and sees her crying hysterically.

He rushes over an asks, "What's the matter now? Are you going to be ok?"

Sally breaks down in tears. more...

Michael Vick admitted to crying in prison because of all his guilt. And maybe the prison rape.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up, put it down; or preferably, put it back up when finished.

3. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.

4. Sunday = Sports.

5. Anything you wear is fine, really.

6. Women wearing Wonder bras and low cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

7. You have too many shoes & plenty of clothes.

8. Crying is not the answer. Crying is blackmail.

9. We're not mind-readers. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

10. Mark anniversaries & birthdays on a calendar.

11. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult that peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.

12. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers.

13. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a more...

A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair.
"Don't be angry," the Mother says, "Your little sister doesn't realize that pulling hair hurts."
A short while later, there's more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate.
This time the sister is bawling and her brother says...
"Now she knows."