Crying Jokes / Recent Jokes

There were three men flying in a plane. The first man threw a quarter out the window and said, good luck. the second man threw a penny out the window and said, good luck. The third man threw a bomb out the window and said, good luck. The plane landed and the three men got off the plane. The first man walked up to a little girl who was crying and asked her what was wrong. She said"A quarter fell from the sky and hit my cat." The second man walked up to a crying boy and asked what was wrong. The boy replied," A penny fell out of the sky and hit my dog." The third man walked up to a boy who was laughing so hard he was crying and asked what was wrong. The boy laughed and replied," My grandma farted and the house blew up!"

This man is walking down the road and hears someone crying. He stops and looks over the fence and sees a woman without any arms or legs crying beside a pool. He asks "What's the problem?" she says "Well I've never been hugged before." Well this is a nice guy so he hops the fence and gives her a hug. Half an hour later he is going back to his car and hears her crying. He asks "Now what's wrong?" she says "I've been thinking and.. I've never been kissed before". Well the guy thinks what's the harm in giving her a kiss to make her feel better? He hops the fence and gives her a kiss. At his car he finds that his keys are lost so he goes back to the girl and finds his keys there but he sees her crying again. "Now what's wrong" he asked She responds "I've never been fucked before" The guy picks her up and throws her into the pool and says "Now you're fucked real good."

There were 3 men, a chiness japenesse and an american. They all
went flying in an airplane then they flew over china
and the chiness dopped an apple to represent his country then
they landed the plane in china and saw some1 crying and asked
him what was a matter he said he was walkin down the street and
a apple fell out of the sky and hit him in the head so
they got in the plane and flew over japan and the japanesse man
dropped a bannana peel in japan so they landed in japan and
saw a guy crying and they asked him why he was crying and the
boy said he was walkin down the street and slipped on a bannana
peel so they got back in the plane and flew over america and
the american dropped a bomb and then they landed the
plane and saw some1 crying and they asked him why was he crying?
and he said he walked by his house and he farted and his house
blew up

Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why.' I've lost five cents,' sobbed Johnny.' Don't worry,' said his dad kindly.' Here's five more for you,' At this Johnny howled louder than ever.' Now what is it? ' asked his dad.' I wish I'd said I'd lost ten cents!'

William: May I have some money for the man crying outside? Mum: What crying man? William: The one that's crying,' Ice cream! Ice Cream! '

Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Dont worry, son. Your mother will come back. Shes only bringing people babies and making them happy."The next night, its fathers turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying, "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now hes bringing joy to new mommies and daddies."A few days later, the storks parents are desperate: their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where hes been all night. The baby stork says, "No where. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"

One day a guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "if you can make that horse over there laugh you can have free drinks for the rest of the night".

So he says "ok" and walks over to the horse and whispers something in his ear and he starts laughing and the bartender gives him free drinks for the rest of the night.

The next night the same guy comes back in and the bartender says "if you can make that horse over there cry i will give you free drinks for the rest of the night.

So he walks over there and does something and the horse starts crying, and the bartender gives him free drinks. Then the bartender asks what the man did to make the horse laugh and what he did to make him cry.

The man says "To make him laugh I told him I had a bigger dick than he does and to make him cry I showed him".