Dial Jokes / Recent Jokes

College Habits To Bring Home Try to use your dorm key to unlock your bedroom door. Have your mom scan your ID card for meals. Look for a tray to carry your dinner to the table with. Walk two blocks to go to dinner. Forget to dial the first three digits of your friend's phone number. Dial 9 when calling out of your house. Use your calling card when calling your friends. Walk to the post office to get your mail. Yell "FLUSH!" Jump out of the shower just in case someone does flush. Try to latch the bathroom door because you think you're in a stall. Take all your shower items to and from your room. Get dressed in the dark. Go nuts looking for the quarter slots on the washing machine. Make junk food runs at 11: 30 at night. Make popcorn just because you miss the smell. Order pizza every Friday night. Have one of your friends spend the night because you can't sleep in a room by yourself. Move another bed, dresser, and desk into your room because there is too much extra space. more...

The following letters are taken from an actual incident between a London hotel and one of its guests. The hotel ended up submitting the letters to the London Sunday Times. This is long, but funny!
Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.
Thank you,
S. Berman
~~~~~~
Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.
Kathy,
Relief more...

At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians.

American: "In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1. This will record the call and connect them with the police."

Russian: "In Russia we don't require that you dial anything."

At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians. American: "In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1. This will record the call and connect them with the police."Russian: "In Russia we dont require that you dial anything."

Knock KnockWhos there! Crock and Dial! Crock and Dial who? Crock and Dial Dundee!

Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel involved submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned.

WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THOSE "FREE" SOAPS WHEN TRAVELLING

Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank you,
S. Berman----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Room 635,I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left more...

Sometime in the future:
"Hello. This is Bell Atlantic-Nynex-MCI-TCI-America Online customer
service. May I help you?"
"Yes, I'd like to report a problem with my telephone."
"Our records show you don't have local phone service through us."
"How'd you know who I am? I didn't give you my name."
"We have ways."
"Well, I'm pretty sure you have my phone service."
"Our records show you have long-distance, cellular, satellite TV,
Internet access and your MasterCard through us. Your phone
service must be through one of the other three big communications
companies. Have you looked at your bill?"
"My bill is 134 pages long."
"Oh, you're one of our light users. But we'd be happy to become your local phone provider. If you sign up, you get one-third off long-distance calls made on your cellular phone to friends and family members who have an Internet home more...