Driveway Jokes / Recent Jokes

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well.Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?""Yes it is," the man replies."You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks."No thanks," the man replies."I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues."OK. How much?" the man replies after considering the position he was in."Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies."TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats. "That's awful expensive", but because of the position he was in, agreed to the price.The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway and, again, places her lover in the closet with her little boy."It's dark in here, isn't it?" the boy more...

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine-year-old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet as well.
Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
"Yes it is." the man replies.
"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.
"No thanks." the man replies.
"I think you do want to buy a baseball" the little extortionist continues.
"Okay. How much?" the man replies, after considering the position he is in. "Twenty-five dollars." the little boy replies.
"Twenty-five dollars!" the man repeats incredulously, but complies to protect his hidden position.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again, when she hears a car in the driveway and again places her lover in the closet with her little boy.
"It's dark in here, isn't it?" the more...

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine-year-old son in the closet.
One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well.
Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
"Yes it is," the man replies.
"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.
"No thanks," the man replies.
"I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues.
"OK. How much?" the man replies after considering the position he is in.
"Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies. "TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats incredulously, but complies to protect his hidden position.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway and, again, places her lover in the closet with her little boy.
"It's dark in here, isn't more...

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine-year-old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet as well.Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?""Yes it is." the man replies."You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks."No thanks." the man replies."I think you do want to buy a baseball" the little extortionist continues."Okay. How much?" the man replies, after considering the position he is in. "Twenty-five dollars." the little boy replies."Twenty-five dollars!" the man repeats incredulously, but complies to protect his hidden position.The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again, when she hears a car in the driveway and again places her lover in the closet with her little boy."It's dark in here, isn't it?" the boy starts off."Yes it is." replies more...

Aug. 12 Moved to our new home in Montana. It is so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see the snow covering them.
Oct. 14 Montana is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful mountains and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise! I love it here.
Nov. 11 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.
Dec. 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleared the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight, I won. Than the snowplow came by. We had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place! I love Montana!!
Dec. 12 More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did it's trick again more...

Two men were at a poker game that had run late; 3:00 AM to be exact
Man1: You know what I hate about these games? When I go home.
I turn off my headlights, turn off the engine, and coast into the
driveway. Then I go to the front door, take off my shoes and
sneak in as quietly as I can. But my wife always wakes up and
we end up having a fight.
Man2: What I do instead is drive into the driveway, honk the horn a few
times, get out of the car, slam the door, go in the house and slam
the door. Then I yell "Honey, I'm home," run upstairs, slap her on
the ass and say, "How about a little love, woman?" She never
even moves.

What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies?
'Hey y'all... Watch this!'
How To Pick Up A Chick In Arkansas:
Hey Baby! Nice tooth.
You Might Be A Redneck If...
You think the last three words of the national
anthem is 'start your engines.'
You Might Be A Redneck If...
Fifth grade was the best six years of your life.
You Might Be A Redneck If...
One of your kids was born on a pool table.
You Might Be A Redneck If...
If you refer to the fifth grade as, "your senior year".
You Might Be A Redneck If...
You think the stock market has fence around it.
You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the
dump and bring back more than you took.
You Might Be A Redneck If...
You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
You Might Be A Redneck If...
Your grandfather died and left everything to his
widow... but she can't touch it 'til she's fourteen.
You Might Be A more...