Exercise Jokes / Recent Jokes
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying: "If you don't use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain.
Below is a very private way to gage your loss or non-loss of intelligence. So take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing it or are still a MENSA candidate. OK, relax, clear your
mind and. . . begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?
The answer is bread. If you said "toast", then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread", go to question 2.
2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk". What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk", please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously overstressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more more...
Forrest Gump - Life is like a Box of chocolates...
Forrest Dahmer - People are like a box of chocolate, YUM!
Forrest (Homer)Simpson - Mmmmm, chocolate
Forrest the Hun - Chocolate all mine!
Forrest Simmons - Chocolate is bad!, EXERCISE EXERCISE!
Forrest Rivera - People who like Chocolate..Next on 'Forrest'
Forrest Shakespeare - Chocolate, or no chocolate that's the question
Forrest Of Borg - All chocolates must be assimilated
Forrest Presley - Hunk a hunk of milk chocolate
Forrest Zen - I am one with the chocolate
Forrest McClaine - I used to be a box of Chocolates
Forrest Ventura - Chocolates..Alll-Riighty then...
Forrest Lauper - People just wanna have chocolate
Forrest Turner - What's chocolate gotta do, gotta do with it?
Forrest Bones - D*@!* Jim, I'm a Dr., not a box of chocolate
Forrest Spock - Logically speaking, we are all chocolate
Forrest Scotty - The box, she's breaking apart Capt'n
Forrest Butler - Frankly more...
Forrest Gump - Life is like a Box of chocolates...Forrest Dahmer - People are like a box of chocolate, YUM! Forrest (Homer)Simpson - Mmmmm, chocolateForrest the Hun - Chocolate all mine! Forrest Simmons - Chocolate is bad!, EXERCISE EXERCISE! Forrest Rivera - People who like Chocolate..Next on 'Forrest'Forrest Shakespeare - Chocolate, or no chocolate that's the questionForrest Of Borg - All chocolates must be assimilatedForrest Presley - Hunk a hunk of milk chocolateForrest Zen - I am one with the chocolateForrest McClaine - I used to be a box of ChocolatesForrest Ventura - Chocolates..Alll-Riighty then...Forrest Lauper - People just wanna have chocolateForrest Turner - What's chocolate gotta do, gotta do with it? Forrest Bones - D*
We had a great neighborhood watch going when I was a kid... until she closed her curtains.
He's what every woman wants - strong, sensitive... battery operated!
There is no truth in the rumor that Roy Rogers's horse Trigger sued him for palomino-mony.
Chap with a fetish walks into a sex shop and asks "So how's the leather been lately?"
The latest product on the market in the continuing war against white ants - it's called 'Arson'.
Unfortunately, since I went on the wagon, the wagon went and got a liquor licence.
Do infants have as much fun in infancy as adults do in adultery?
Marriage - nature's way of stopping people fighting with strangers.
OK, so God made Heaven and Earth. But what has he done recently?
Graffiti Dyslexics of the world - untie!
My grandfather died peacefully in his sleep. Which is more than I can say for the three passengers he had in his car at the time.
My friend is so full of self-importance - when he dies, he more...
Forwarded to me through a long chain of email addresses.
This came from a bookmark distributed by De Anza College.
How To Stay Stressed
Although the De Anza Health Office long been an advocate of stress
management, stress, tension, and burnout are still common complaints of
students, faculty, and staff alike. On account of this, we have come to
the following conclusion: YOU ALL WANT TO STAY STRESSED! The following
provides you with a few reasons why.
STRESS HELPS YOU SEEM IMPORTANT. Anyone as stressed as you must be
working very hard and, therefore,
is probably doing something very
crucial.
IT HELPS YOU TO MAINTAIN PERSONAL Anyone as busy as you are certainly
DISTANCE AND AVOID INTIMACY. can't be expected to form emotional
attachments to anyone. And let's
face it, you're not much fun to be
around anyway.
IT HELPS YOU AVOID RESPONSIBILITIES. Obviously you're too stressed to be
given any more work. This gets more...
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck and jumping to conclusions.