Eye Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day, a young camel decided to ask his father some questions about growing up.' Daddy, why is it that we have humps on our backs?'' Well son, we have humps on our backs which contain fat to sustain us through many days when we are out in the desert.'

' Oh thanks, Dad!' says the youngster. He then asks,' Daddy, why is it that we have long eye lashes over our eyes?'' Well son,' says the father,' in the desert, there are many sandstorms which whip up a lot of sand which can get into our eyes. The long eye lashes protect our eyes from being blinded.'

' Oh thanks, Dad!' says the youngster.' Dad, why is it that we have great big padded feet?'' Well son, in the desert, the sand is very soft and we need big feet to be able to walk on the sand without our feet sinking into the soft sand.'

' Well thanks, Dad, but what the heck are we doing in London Zoo?'

Teacher:-Students Draw A Picture Of Bacteria.
Student:-Here It Is Mam.
Teacher:-Where? It Is Blank.
Student:-You Told That Bacteria Cannot Be Seen With Naked Eye!

Two Bedouins were in the middle of a desert. When one gets something blown into his eye. His companion takes a look at his eye for him and says, "Hold still Abdul, it might be sand."

Little Johnny comes home from Catholic school with a black eye. His
father sees
it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight
with the
other boys?"

"But Dad," said Johnny, "It wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying
our
prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in
the
crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That's when she hit
me!"

"Johnny", the father said, "You don't do those kind of things to women!
Just
leave it alone!"

Sure enough, the very next day Johnny came home with the other eye black
and
blue. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk about this!"

"But Dad," Johnny said, "It wasn't my fault. There we were in church
saying
our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her more...

One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny and hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her, put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. We didn't know what to call her, so we named her, "Pussycat."
The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he would let us know when we could come and get her. My husband (the complainer) said, "OK, but don't forget to wash her, she stinks. He reminded the vet that it was his WIFE (me) that wanted the dirty cat, not him.
My husband and my vet don't see eye to eye. The vet calls my husband' El-Cheap-O', and my husband calls the vet,' El-Charge-O'. They love to hate each other and constantly' snipe' at one another, with my husband getting in the last word on this particular occasion.
The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor, who is located in the same building, next door to the vet. The doctor's waiting room and more...

A story I'll tell of a burglar bold
Who started to rob a house;
He opened the window, and then crept in
As quiet as a mouse.
He looked around for a place to hide,
'Till the folks were all asleep,
Then said he, "With their money
I'll take a quiet sneak."
So under the bed the burglar crept;
He crept up close to the wall;
He didn't know it was an old maid's room
Or he wouldn't have had the gall.
He thought of the money that he would steal,
As under the bed he lay;
But at nine o'clock he saw a sight
That made his hair turn gray.
At nine o'clock the old maid came in;
"I am so tired," she said;
She thought that all was well that night
So she didn't look under the bed.
She took out her teeth and her big glass eye,
And the hair from off her head;
The burglar, he had forty fits
As he watched from under the bed.
From under the bed the burglar crept,
He more...

Owed Two A Spell Chequer: Eye halve a spelling chequerIt came with my pea seaIt plainly marques four my revueMiss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a wordAnd weight four it two sayWeather eye am wrong oar writeIt shows me strait a weigh. As soon as a mist ache is maidIt nose bee fore two longAnd eye can put the error riteIts rare lea ever wrong. Eye have run this poem threw itI am shore your pleased two noIts letter perfect awl the weighMy chequer tolled me sew.