Foreman Jokes / Recent Jokes

At the conclusion of a criminal trial in a high profile bank robbery case, the judge turned to the jury foreman and asked if the jury had reached a verdict.
"Yes, we have, your honor," replied the foreman.
"Would you pass it to me, please," the judge said, as he motioned for the bailiff to retrieve the verdict slip from the foreman and deliver it to him.
The judge read the slip, gave it back to his bailiff to be returned to the foreman, and instructed the foreman, "Please read the verdict to the court."
"We, the jury, find the defendant Not Guilty on all three counts of bank robbery," the foreman stated. Upon hearing the verdict, the defendant's family and friends jumped for joy, hugging each other as they shouted expressions of divine gratitude.
The defendant's attorney turned to him and asked, "So, what do you think of that?"
With a bewildered look on his face, the defendant replied, "I'm very confused. more...

Two men working in a facory were talking. "I know how to get some time off," said one.

"How are you going to do that?"

"Watch," he said, and climbed up on a rafter. The foreman asked what he was doing up there, and the man replied. "I'm a lightbulb."

"I think you need some time off," the foreman said said, and the first man walked out of the factory. After a moment, the second man followed him.

"Where do you think you're going?" the foreman shouted.

"I can't work in the dark," he said.

Seems this guy has a habit of calling in on Monday morning, with the complaint, "I can't come in today. I'm sick." The boss asks the foreman about him, and the foreman says, "He's great. He does the work of two guys. We don't want to lose him. "So the boss calls the guy into his office. "You seem to have a problem getting to work on Mondays. You're a really good worker and I don't want to fire you. What's the problem, what can we do to help? Is it drugs? Alcohol? "The guy stutters a bit, then grimaces and sighs. "Nah," the man says, "I don't drink or do drugs. But, well, my brother-in-law drinks every weekend, and then he beats on my sister. So every Monday morning, she calls me crying, and I go over to make sure she's all right. She puts her head on my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know, we're having sex." "What!?" his boss yells. "You have sex with your sister?" more...

Two neighbors were talking about work, when one asked, “Say, why did the foreman fire you? ”
Replied the second, “Well, you know how a foreman is always standing around and watching others do the work. My foreman got jealous. People started thinking I was the foreman. ”

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change." I've got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you," he announced. "Will the laziest man please put his hand up." Nine hands went up." Why didn't you put your hand up?" he asked the tenth man." Too much trouble," came the reply.

A guy works at a new job on Thursday and Friday. On Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."
He worked the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick." The boss asks the foreman about him, and the foreman says, "He's great. He does the work of two men. We need him."
So the boss calls the guy into his office, and says, "You seem to have a problem getting to work on Mondays. You're a good worker and I'd hate to fire you. What's the problem? Anything we can help you with? Drugs? Alcohol?"
The guy says, "No, I don't drink or do drugs. But my brother-in-law drinks every weekend, and then beats on my sister. So every Monday morning, I go over to make sure she's all right. She puts her head on my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know, I'm screwing her."
The boss says, "You screw your more...

A worker on a construction site of a high rise building climbed all the way to the top of the building before realizing that he needed a second pair of hands to accomplish the task he had in mind.
Not wanting to climb all the way back down, and also realizing that no one would hear him if he yelled, he signaled to the foreman on the ground.
He pointed first to himself, then his knee, and then the foreman, meaning "I need you."
The foreman waved back and then started acting very strangely.... he unzipped his pants, pulled them down to his ankles, and proceeded to jerk off.
Totally confused and rather alarmed, the worker ran down all fourteen stories of the high rise, staggered over to the foreman and gasped, "What the hell are you doing?
"I got your message," replied the foreman. "I just wanted to let you know that I was coming."