Foreman Jokes / Recent Jokes
A foreman at Pennsylvania's Brendle Farms discovered a 4-legged chicken among the 36,000 on the farm. "Sometimes I count their feet and divide by two, but it just wasn't adding up right this time," said the foreman.
Mark Brendle, owner of the farm abutting Three Mile Island nuclear power plant, was excited about the discovery. "We'll put it next to the two-headed duck and the pig with five sets of teats," he said.
A man goes to a factory for a job inteview. The foreman interviewing him is quite impressed, so he tells the man, "You're hired."
The man is thrilled, but says to the foreman, "Look, there's something I think you should know before I start. I don't have any testicles."
"That's not a problem," says the foreman. "You can start tomorrow at 9AM."
"Doesn't everyone here usually start at 8AM?" the man asks.
"Yes, that's true," the foreman replies, "but most of them just stand around scratching their balls for the first hour."
A foreman sent out two groups of men to put up telephone poles along a new highway and asked them to report at the end of the day. The crews were gone all day and returned just as the sun was setting. The foreman asked the leader of the first group how many poles they had installed. The reply was eleven. The foreman patted the guy on the back and said, "Not bad." Then he went to the leader of the next group and asked him the same question. Two was the reply. "Two! All you installed were two?! The other group installed eleven!" The foreman exclaimed angrily. "Yeah," the leader answered, "But you should have seen how much they left sticking out!"
Shannon received a phone call from the foreman plant that her husband worked at. He sounded grim and she immediately knew something was wrong.
"What happened? Is Patrick all right? Please tell me he's ok," she said.
The man on the line said, "Shannon, there was an accident at the brewery and your husband is... dead."
"Oh my goodness, what happened?" Shannon asked.
The foreman replied, "He fell into a vat of beer."
"Did he at least die quickly?" sobbed Shannon.
The man paused, then said, "Well, no... he got out three times to use the bathroom."
After a laborious two-week criminal trial in a very high profile bank robbery case, the jury finally ended its 14 hours of deliberations and entered the courtroom to deliver its verdict to the judge. The judge turns to the jury foreman and asks,
"Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?"
"Yes we have, your honor," the foreman responded.
"Would you please pass it to me,"
The judge declared, as he motioned for the bailiff to retrieve the verdict slip from the foreman and deliver it to him.
After the judge reads the verdict himself, he delivers the verdict slip back to his bailiff to be returned to the foreman and instructs the foreman, "Please read your verdict to the court."
"We find the defendant NOT GUILTY of all four counts of bank robbery," stated the foreman.
The family and friends of the defendant jump for joy at the sound of the "not guilty" verdict and hug each other as they shout more...
Braxton and Hollis had jobs at a California cotton mill. One morning the foreman came along and found Braxton reading a letter to his coworker. "Hey," cried the foreman, "what kind a horseplay you two guys up to?" "Hollis got a letter from his girlfriend," explained Braxton, "but he cant read; so Ahm readin the letter for him." "How come you got the cotton in your ears?" "Hollis dont want me to hear what his girlfriend writ to him!"
Brendan Behan told the story of how he got a job in London with a street repair gang. The first job he went to they were down in a hole singing Happy Birthday around the foreman. "Is it the foreman's birthday?" asked Brendan. "No, Brendan. It's the third anniversary of the hole."