Garbage Jokes / Recent Jokes

An American tourist in Moscow found himself needing to get rid of a large supply of garbage from his recent stay at an apartment. After a long search, he just couldn't find any place to discard of it. So, he just went down one of the side streets to dump it there.

Yet, he was stopped by a Moscow police officer, who said, "Hey you, what are you doing?"

"I have to throw this away," replied the tourist.

"You can't throw it away here. Look, follow me," the policeman offered.

The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. "Here," said the cop, "dump all the garbage you want."

The American shrugs, opens up the large bags of garbage, and dumps them right on the flowers.

"Thanks for giving me a place to dump this stuff. This is very nice of you. Is this Russian courtesy?" asked the more...

THE COMPLETE LIST OF SORORITY JOKES
What's a sorority girl put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
Her ankles.
What is the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
1 You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball.
2 You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.
3 You can't fit a sorority girl inside a bowling ball.
How are a sorority girl and a bowling ball alike?
You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them
in the gutter and they always come back for more.
What is the difference between sorority girls and hookers?
Sorority girls cost less per score.
What is the difference between a sorority girl and an elephant?
About 40 lbs.
How do you equalize the two?
Feed the elephant.
What's the first thing a sorority girl does in the morning?
1 Introduce herself.
2 Walks home.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and the Titanic?
Only 1500 went down on more...

Q: What happens when a Polak doesn't pay his garbage bill?
A: They stop delivering.

You've come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything.
The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car—in the "ten items or less" lane.
You've stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your parents.
You've found yourself discussing rain gutters.
You remember your kid's names, just not always the right one.
You have nightmares about forgetting to move the garbage cans to the street for the garbage collector.
Your high school yearbook is now home to three different species of mold.
You buy "age-defying" makeup and "antiwrinkle" creams and believe they work.
You've realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you.
You recognize Led Zeppelin songs that have been turned into elevator Muzak.
As a public service, you have agreed to never appear on the beach in a Speedo again.
You've had three opportunities more...

Q: What happens when a Polak doesn't pay his garbage bill? A: They stop delivering.

You've come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything.The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car-in the "ten items or less" lane.You've stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your parents.You've found yourself discussing rain gutters.You remember your kid's names, just not always the right one.You have nightmares about forgetting to move the garbage cans to the street for the garbage collector.Your high school yearbook is now home to three different species of mold.You buy "age-defying" makeup and "antiwrinkle" creams and believe they work.You've realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you.You recognize Led Zeppelin songs that have been turned into elevator Muzak.As a public service, you have agreed to never appear on the beach in a Speedo again.You've had three opportunities to buy every single Disney Animated Classic-"for the more...

A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?"
"Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," he replies
To this his friend responds, "Strange ambition to have for a career."
"Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"