Ghost Jokes / Recent Jokes
A butler came running into his important masters office. "Sir, sir, theres a ghost in the corridor. What shall I do with him?" Without looking up from his work the master said, "Tell him I cant see him."
LESSON 1
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting.
On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.
They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says:
" Normally, one is granted three wishes, but as you are three, I will allow one wish each. "
So the eager senior manager shouted: " I want the first wish.
I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries."
Pfufffff …. and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted:
" I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. "
Pfufffff …. And he was also gone.
The boss calmly said: " I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12. 30 pm. "
MORAL OF THE STORY: ALWAYS LET THE BOSS SPEAK FIRST
LESSON 2
Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand," Listen," said more...
What did the mother ghost tell the kid ghost when he went out to play?"Dont get your sheets dirty!"
A professor at the University is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks them, "How many folk here believe in ghosts?" About 80 students raise their hands. "That`s a good start," says the professor, "For those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you`ve ever seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands. "That`s really good," continues the professor, "I`m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?" 15 students raise their hands. "That`s a great response," remarks the impressed professor, "has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" 3 students raise their hands. "Brilliant. But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever been intimate with a ghost?" One of his students from a Redneck state raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years I`ve more...
A MAN who had more beer than was good for him staggered into his house and rushed to what he thought was his bathroom to empty his bladder. Having relieved himself of his burden, he confronted his wife, "There must be a ghost in the bathroom," he stuttered. "I opened the door and the light went on; I shut it and it switched off on its own."
"It wasn't the bathroom door you opened," replied the wife very icily, "it was the refrigerator."
Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” was published in 1843 on December 19th.
(An event mentioned by our very own UGA Almanac keeper.)
NPR’s morning news program observed the anniversary by noting that:
the Ghost of Christmas Past has been rattling his chains since 1843….
This morning the host read some letters from listeners including one who
wrote:
What the Dickens! I’d always thought that it was the ghost of (Scrooge’s
partner) Marley who rattled those chains.
NPR acknowledged that it had erred.