Ghost Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day at the Ricki Lake Show, the topic was ghosts. Before the show, she asks the audience "Who here has ever sensed the presence of a ghost?" and 5 people raise their hand. Then she asks "Who here has ever SEEN a ghost?" and 3 people raise their hand. Then she asks "Okay, now who here has ever had sex with a ghost?" and 1 person, an old man raises his hand. So she goes up to this old man and says "what was it like?" and he said "Oh... it was great!! Never had any like it before!!" and she asked "Really?? So the ghost was good??" and the old man said "GHOST!?!?!?! I thought you said GOAT!!!!"
What do you call the sound a ghost makes when he calls you? A phone moan.
A very proper man is staying at the hospital as he has been taken quite ill. In the middle of the night he wakes up to find he has soiled his bed. Too embarassed to call the nurse to clean his sheets, he gather them up and tosses them out the window.
The sheets fall onto a drunkard who is wandering around on the sidewalk. He begins thrashing about, swinging and cursing loudly. A security guard hears the noise and runs over to the pale, and panting drunkard.
The guard says "What happened? You look as though you've seen a ghost!"
The drunkard replies "I did! And I think I beat the sh*t out of it too!"
Why is a ghost like an empty house? Because theres no body there!
A visiting professor at the University of Alabama is giving a
seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How
many people here believe in ghosts?"
About 90 students raise their hands."Well that's a good start. Out of
those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever
seen a ghost?"
About 40 students raise their hands. "That's really good. I'm
really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghost?"
15 students raise their hands. "That's a great response. Has anyone
here ever touched a ghost?"
3 students raise their hands. "That's fantastic. But let me ask
you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"
One student in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished.
He takes off glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years
I've been giving this lecture, no one has more...
Woman in bed: Aaagh! Aaagh! A ghost just floated into my room! Ghost: Dont worry, maam, Im just passing through.
A visiting professor at the University of Alabama is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start! Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good! I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?" 15 students raise their hands.
"That's a great response! Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" 3 students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic! But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?" One student in the back raised his hand.
The professor is astonished! He takes off his glasses, takes a step back, and says: "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has more...