Group Jokes / Recent Jokes

A group of doctors plans to lobby for insurance coverage for "video game addiction."

"We realize getting recognition for this affliction would be like a dwarf trying to make it to Level 20 without his cloak of invisibility, but we're willing to to spend hours and hours in front of a computer to make this happen," said one member of the group.

A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.
The group surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?"
One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."
Of course, the reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."
There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, more...

Q: How many Artificial Intelligence (AI) people does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: At least 55: The problem space group (5) [One to define the goal state, One to define the operators, One to describe the universal problem solver, One to hack the production system, One to indicate about how it is a model of human lightbulb changing behaviour], The logical formalism group (16): [One to figure out how to describe lightbulb changing in first order logic, One to figure out how to describe lightbulb changing in second order logic, One to show the adequacy of FOL, One to show the inadequacy of FOL, One to show that lightbulb logic is non-monotonic, One to show that it isn't non-monotonic, One to show how non-monotonic logic is incorporated in FOL, One to determine the bindings for the variables, One to show the completeness of the solution, One to show the consistency of the solution, One to show that the two just above are incoherent, One to hack a theorem prover for lightbulb more...

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly
slow group of golfers.The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him.""Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment.The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at more...

Each day I try to enjoy something from each of the four food groups:
the bonbon group, the salty-snack group, the caffeine group, and the
thing-in-tinfoil-in-the-back-of-the-fridge group.

A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real painintheass, constantly complaining:' The bus seats are uncomfortable.'' The food is terrible.'' It's too hot.'' It's too cold' The accommodations are awful.' You have surely known her, and/or too many like her.

The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone.

' Good luck will be followin' ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone,' the guide said.' Unfortunately, it's being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow.'

' We can't be here tomorrow,' the nasty woman shouted.' We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can't kiss the stupid stone.'

' Well now,' the guide said,' it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you'll have the same good fortune.'

' And I suppose you've kissed the stone,' the woman scoffed.

' No, ma'am,' the frustrated guide more...

A man wanted to prove to a group of alcoholics the effect of alcohol in human body system. He brought two jars; one containing water and the other containing alcohol, along with a very healthy worm. He said to the audience:

"This jar contain water"
He dropped the worm in the jar and said, "Please watch the reaction". The worm swam to the side of the jar and up it floats dangling and swimming.

The man took the worm out of the first jar and put it in the second jar containing alcohol and said to the audience " now watch the reaction" The worm went right down into the water and struggled for survival. There and then every body saw the worm shrinking and dis-integrating, and in one word, died.

The man turned round an asked the audience " what would you all say to this".

After a long silence, someone from the rear stood up and said
"