Group Jokes / Recent Jokes

SEVEN SOFTWARE COMPANIES ADDED TO "WATCH LIST"

New York, NJ, Nov. 11 -- People for the Ethical Treatment of Software (PETS) announced today that seven more software companies have been added to the group's "watch list" of companies that regularly practice software testing.

"There is no need for software to be mistreated in this way so that companies like these can market new products," said Ken Granola, spokesperson for PETS. "Alternative methods of testing these products are available."

According to PETS, these companies force software to undergo lengthly and arduous tests, often without rest for hours or days at a time. Employees are assigned to "break" the software by any means necessary, and inside sources report that they often joke about "torturing" the software.

"It's no joke," said Granola. "Innocent programs, from the day they are compiled, are cooped up in more...

Two journalists kidnapped by a Palestinian terror group have been freed. Initially, the group had demanded that the U.S. release every Muslim prisoner in its custody. The terrorists changed their plans after learning that most Muslim prisoners in the U.S. are black.

The joke goes that Americans can be divided into three broad groups and each group deals with its enemies in its own way.
Americans belonging to the first group sue their enemy. Those belonging to the second group shoot their enemy. And those belonging to the third group shoot their enemy and then sue his widow for mental anguish brought about by guilt and imprisonment!

A man was sitting in a bar and noticed a group of people using sign language. He also noticed that the bartender was using sign language to speak to them.
When the bartender returned to him, the man asked how he had learned to use sign language. The bartender explained that these were regular customers and had taught him to speak in sign. The man thought that was great.
A few minutes later the man noticed that the people in the group were waving their hands around very wildly. The bartender looked over and signed "Now cut that out! I warned you!" and threw the group out of the bar.
The man asked why he had done that and the bartender said, "If I told them once I told them 100 times - NO SINGING IN THE BAR!"

The Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m.
Please use the back door.

A man was sitting in a bar and noticed a group of people using sign language. He also noticed that the bartender was using sign language to speak to them.
When the bartender returned to him, the man asked how he had learned to use sign language. The bartender explained that these were regular customers and had taught him to speak in sign. The man thought that was great.
A few minutes later the man noticed that the people in the group were waving their hands around very wildly. The bartender looked over and signed, "Now cut that out! I warned you!" and threw the group out of the bar.
The man asked why he had done that and the bartender said, "If I told them once I told them 100 times - NO SINGING IN THE BAR!"

The long-awaited report from the Iraq Study Group was released yesterday. The group came out with 79 separate recommendations including talking with Iran, getting the U.N. more involved and, in the event you weren't sure of a correct answer, trying to eliminate obvious wrong answers and then just guessing.