Herself Jokes / Recent Jokes
Then there was the psychology professor, a Yankee's Yankee and a
feminist's feminist, who tells the following story about herself to illustrate
that doctorates don't necessarily make you smart.
She was driving to a workshop in Atlanta from her home in Ohio.
It was about 10 am, and she'd been driving the entire preceding day and night
herself, and she was consequently not in the best of tempers as she searched
for a motel in which to crash.
A Georgia state policeman pulled her over, got out of his cruiser,
swaggered up to her driver's window, bent down, and drawled, "Lookie here,
darlin',"-uh oh, everybody duck-"Lookie here, darlin', nobody blows
through Georgia that fast."
Said the feminist Yankee overtired psychology professor: "Sherman did."
She says he was not satisfied merely to give her a speeding ticket;
he made her follow him fifty miles out of her way to Nowheresburg, GA, and
wait at the more...
There were three Women stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainlandand estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it." I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go more...
ur mama is so fat she tryed rocking herself tah get up and she rocked herself to sleep
An old lady lived by herself in a small house in a small town. One day she went to the local grocery store and while she was gone a criminal broke into her house, took her clothes off of the line, smashed the watermellons in her garden, shaved her cat and then left when he couldn't find any money. Well, a couple of hours later the old laty got home and when she saw what had happened to her house she immediately called the police. When the officer on the other end answered the phone and asked her what the problem was she simply replied "yes officer someone broke into my house, took my clothes off, squeezed my melons, and shaved my pussy. Sent by BIG GUY
A pretty young woman visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in.
Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation.
"Miss Jones," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination."
Tom drops in on the golf course wanting to play an impromptu round of golf. The golf pro explains that they're pretty busy, but there is a woman about to tee off by herself, and if Tom hurries, he can play with her.
Tom rushes down, and asks the woman if he can join her. Mary introduces herself, and says "Yes." Well Tom and Mary immediately hit it off. They were golfing, talking, laughing, having the time of their lives.
When they got to the 17th tee, Mary invited Tom into the woods for a blow-job. Of course, Tom agreed.
When the game was over, Tom asked Mary if she would like to play again the following week. The two of them started having a regular weekly game, with Mary's special bonus for Tom just off the 17th tee.
One day, after a few months of this, Mary told Tom, "I have something very important to tell you." "What is it?" Tom asked nervously, "Has someone found out about us?"
"Actually," Mary said, more...
Suicidal blonde
A blonde girl got so mad about blonde jokes she decided to kill herself.
She finds a suitable tree and proceeds to hang herself by the ankles.
Two guys come over and say, "Are you trying to kill yourself?"
The blonde replies, "Yes, I am."
One of the men says, "Then shouldn't you hang the rope on your neck instead of your ankles?"
The blonde says, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."