Hillary Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bill Clinton was out jogging one morning, when he came to an apartment complex.
Sitting outside on the steps was a cute little girl with a big box.
As Bill jogged closer, he could see that the box was full of adorable puppies.
He went to the little girl and said "Awww...those are the cutest puppies"
The little girl said "These aren't puppies. I call them Democrats."
Bill thought this was really sweet and said "Well, that's so sweet!"
A few days later, Hillary was jogging with Bill when they came to the same building with the little girl outside.
The girl was still there with the box. Bill nudged Hillary and said "Watch this."
He asked the little girl, "What have you got there? Puppies?"
The little girl shook her head and said "No, not puppies, I call them Republicans."
Bill was shocked. He said "But I thought you said they were Democrats???"
The little girl said more...

Bill Clinton, Hillary Ramrod Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air Force 1 on their way to visit the Communists to share their success stories about taxing Americans.
Bill: “Why don’t I throw this hundred dollar bill out the window and make someone very happy. ”
Hillary: “Well, why don’t you throw ten hundred dollar bills out the window and make ten people happy. ”
Al: “Why don’t you two jump out the window and make me and Tipper happy. ”
Tipper: “Why don’t we all jump out the window and make everybody throughout the United States and world happy. ”

Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. She asked, "What are all those clocks?"Saint Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.
Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move."Oh," said Hillary, "whose clock is that?""That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie.""Whose clock is that?""That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice telling us that Abe only told 2 lies in his entire life.""Where's Bill's clock?" Hillary asked."Bill's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

Some years ago when Bill Clinton was still President, he gave George W. Bush a tour of the White House. While there, George was amazed to find that Bill Clinton had his very own solid gold urinal! "Maybe when I'm President, I can have a gold urinal too," he thought to himself. He went back and told his wife Laura all about it. The next day, Laura Bush also visited the White House and had lunch with Hillary Clinton. During their talk, Laura mentioned the beautiful gold urinal her husband had seen in the Clinton's bathroom... but Hillary said nothing. That night when she went to bed, she told Bill: "I found out who peed in your saxophone."

Hillary had an accident and an early demise. Arriving at the Pearly Gates, she stomped up to the head of the line at St. Peter's desk. St. Peter politely informed her that down on Earth she may have had privileges, but up here she would have to wait her turn in line. While waiting, she noticed one wall covered with hundreds of thousands of clocks and she noticed that occasionally one would jump ahead by 15 minutes. She asked the person sitting next to her what this was all about. "Well, as I understand it, each of these clocks represents some man down on Earth. Each time he commits adultery, his time is advanced by 15 minutes." "Can you tell me which is my husband's clock?" Hillary asked St. Peter. "Oh, yes," St. Peter replied. "God has it in his office. He uses it as a fan."

Ending a string of victories for Barack Obama, Pennsylvanians voted overwhelmingly for Hillary Clinton in the state's recent primary.

Hillary now looks ahead to Indiana, where she believes the primary issue will be who likes short haircuts or really short haircuts.

Once Upon A Time An Indian Minister Was Going To Meet An American Minister The Next Day! Then. ....... An Anglo-Indian Told Him That You Go There And Say:"How Are You?" He Said That After That He Will Say "I Am Fine!" Then You Say "Mee Too" When He Went There Instead Of Saying That "How Are You?" He Said "Who Are You?" Then Minister Replied'I Am Hillary's Husband" He Said "Me Too"