Hillary Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: What does Hillary Clinton and Tampons have in common? A: "They are both stuck-up cunts!"
In an effort to blunt the hysteria over Barak Obama, who many have likened to John F. Kennedy because of Obama’s charisma, Hillary attempted to claim JFK as her own.
Appearing in Nashua, NH, candidate Clinton said she is like JFK because she is shrill, vindictive and divisive, which in a parallel universe, is just like JFK.
It seems that Hillary has taken charge of hiring new interns for the White
House?
She currently is looking to see if Lorena Bobbitt is available....
A couple of weeks before being sworn in, George W. Bush was invited to a get acquainted tour of the White House. After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked Bill Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom.
He was astonished to see that the President had a solid gold urinal. That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about the urinal. "Just think," he said," when I am President, I'll get to have a gold urinal!"
Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed George had been with his discovery of the fact that, in the President's private bathroom, the president had a gold urinal.
That evening, Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed. Hillary turned to Bill and said, "Well, I found out who pissed in your saxophone."
Q: How many Hillary Clintons does it take to change a light bulb? A: One--she just holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
While the Clintons were still in the Governor's Mansion in Arkansas, one night Chelsea came in to the bedroom and said, "Mommy, tell me a story please!"
Hillary said, "It's 3:00 am, honey, can't you just go to bed?"
Chelsea answered, "I tried, Mommy, but I can't sleep... please tell me a story."
Hillary thought for a moment and said, "OK, honey, I'll tell you what... You just jump up here in bed with me, and when your daddy finally gets home, we'll BOTH get to hear a story!"
During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news." There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year." Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question. "Will I be acquitted?"