Hole Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day an elephant and a mouse were sitting in a bar. The
elephant got very drunk and was exiting out of the bar with
the mouse and fell into a hole. Well the mouse said he
had a little red sports car which would pull the elephant
out of the hole. And he did just that. Well the next
night the elephant and the mouse were back at the same
bar, but this time the mouse exited the bar and fell into
the hole. So the elephant said he had a big dick that
the mouse could climb up on, so he put his dick in the
hole and the mouse climbed up it.
What's the moral of the story?
You don't need a little red sports car if you have a
BIG DICK! Ha Ha

There was this man driving in his truck in the desert. He had to poop really bad, so he found this old gas station. It had a bathroom, so he went.
He let it all out, feeling pleased when he had finished. That's when he noticed that there was no toilet paper. There was a sign on the wall saying, "There is no tissue. Take 2 fingers, wipe yourself, stick them in the hole below and they will be cleaned by human lips." So he took his 2 fingers and wiped himself.
He stuck them through the hole. On the other side there was a person with 2 bricks. When his fingers were on the other side, the man took the 2 bricks and slammed the man's fingers, so the man, reacting in pain, stuck his fingers in his mouth. (Hey, the sign said they would be cleaned by human lips.)

There were two men who played golf together frequently. One was several strokes better than the other. The lesser player was very proud, and never wanted to take any strokes to even up the game.
One Saturday morning, he shows up with a gorilla at the first tee. He says to his friend, "I've been trying to beat you for so long that I'm about ready to give up. But, I heard about this golfing gorilla, and I was wondering if it would be alright if he plays for me today. In fact if you're game, I'd like to try to get back all the money I've lost to you this year. I figure comes to about a thousand bucks. Are you willing?" The other guy thought about it for a minute, and then decided to play the gorilla. "After all, how good could a gorilla be at golf?" he thought.
Well, the first hole was a straightaway par 4 of 450 yards. The guy hits a beautiful tee shot, 275 yards down the middle, leaving himself a 6 iron to the green. The gorilla takes a few powerful more...

There were two men who played golf together frequently. One was several strokes better than the other. The lesser player was very proud, and never wanted to take any strokes to even up the game. One Saturday morning, he shows up with a gorilla at the first tee. He says to his friend, "I've been trying to beat you for so long that I'm about ready to give up. But, I heard about this golfing gorilla, and I was wondering if it would be alright if he plays for me today. In fact if you're game, I'd like to try to get back all the money I've lost to you this year. I figure comes to about a thousand bucks. Are you willing?" The other guy thought about it for a minute, and then decided to play the gorilla. "After all, how good could a gorilla be at golf?" he thought. Well, the first hole was a straightaway par 4 of 450 yards. The guy hits a beautiful tee shot, 275 yards down the middle, leaving himself a 6 iron to the green. The gorilla takes a few powerful practice swings more...

A rabbi loved to play golf, but he never seemed to have time. He couldn't play on Shabbat, there was religious school on Sundays, and on days off, something always comes up. But, amidst all the activity of the High Holidays, he got a very early tee time before services on Yom Kippur.A passing angel saw him and reported to the Lord. "I'll take care of him," was the casual response, and the angel hurried back to the golf course to watch.On the next hole, the rabbi got a hole in one.Baffled, the angel returned to question the Lord. "Weren't you going to punish him for playing golf on Yom Kippur, the holiest day on the Jewish calendar?" the angel asked. "He just got a hole in one!""I know," replied the Lord. "But who can he tell?"

Jesus Mosus and a old man are playing a game of golf. They are on the last hole and the score is all tied up. The last hole is located on a island with 2 sandtraps. Jesus ateps up and hits his ball, but he is short and is goes into the water, so he walks out and hits his ball in for a two. Mosus is up next and he hits his ball and it goes right in to the water. So he walks up and parts the water and hits his ball in for a two. The old man is up next and he hits his ball but as you can guess it goe right into the water. But as the ball is still on top of the water a fish jumps up and eats the ball right after that a eagle comes and grabs the fish in his talons and flys over the island. the eagle drops the fish and the ball falls out of the fishes mouth and rolls into the hole for a hole in one and the win. Jesus shakes his head and looks at the old man and says "gosh dad it's only a game."

A man buys a brand new Grand Cherokee for $30, 000+, and has $400. 00+ in monthly payments. He`s pretty proud of this rig and gets ahold of his friend to do some male bonding with the new ride. They go duck hunting and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two Atomic Brains go to the lake with their guns, the dog, the beer and of course the new vehicle.

They drive out onto the ice. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area to attract ducks - something the decoys will float on.

Remember it`s all ice, and in order to make a hole large enough to interest a flock of ducks - a hole big enough to entice ducks to land, they needed to use a little more than an ice hole drill...

Sooo, out of the back of the brand-new Jeep Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40-second fuse. Now to their credit, these two rocket scientists DID take into consideration that if they placed the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from more...