Horn Jokes / Recent Jokes

Weird Sex Laws of the U. S. A law in Fairbanks, Alaska, does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.
In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
In Florida it is illegal for single, divorced, or widowed women to parachute on Sunday afternoons.
It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times
and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.
Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally sounding the horn during their lustful act, may be taken to jail according to a Liberty Corner, New Jersey law.
In Nevada, sex without a condom is considered illegal.
Clinton, Oklahoma, has a law against masturbating while watching two people having sex in a car.
In Willowdale, more...

There was this blonde and she was sitting in the car with her older brother! She tried to touch his radio and he said "Dont touch that or i will be you up!" so she waited a little bit a few seconds later she touched his horn. She said "What wil the horn do if i touch it?" The brother replyed " IT WILL HONK!"
DOH! DOH! DOH!

Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a French horn?
A: Put your hand in the bell and miss notes.

Wyckoff boarded a city bus one morning and sat down next to a young man with a big diffle bag at his feet. Every time the bus pulled up to a stop, the young man would take a french horn from the duffle bag and git it a blast in C sharp.

"Why are you blowing that horn at every stop?" he asked.

"To keep the elephants from charging the bus," was the reply.

"That's ridiculous!" snapped Wyckoff. "There isn't an elephant for thousands of miles!"

"I know," the young man answered. "It's very effective."

Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn? A: Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.Q: How do you make a french horn sound like a trombone? A: Take your hand out of the bell and lose all sense of taste.Q: How do you make a french horn sound like a trombone? A: Take your hand out of the bell and miss all of the notes.Q: What's the definition of a gentleman? A: Somone who knows how to play the trombone and doesn't.Q: What is the difference between a trombone and a trumpet? A: A trombone will bend before it breaks.Q: There is a frog driving east and a trombonist walking west. What can be surmised from this? A: The frog's probably on its way to a gig.Orchestral trombonists count so much rest and play so many repeated figures that the sheep story also works.Trombone: a slide whistle with delusions of granduer.

INDIAN ROAD RULES
1. Do we drive on the left or right of the road? The answer is "both".
Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In
that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by
occupying the next available gap, as in chess.

2. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed.
Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality.

3. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the intended
direction. Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself. Except for
a belief in reincarnation, the other drivers are not in any better
position.

4. Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to
cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back.
Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is
moving slowly or had come to a dead stop more...

Traveling on Indian Roads is an almost hallucinatory potion of sound, spectacle and experience. It is frequently heart-rending, sometimes hilarious, mostly exhilarating, always unforgettable -- and, when you are on the roads, extremely dangerous. Most Indian road users observe a version of the Highway Code based on a Sanskrit text. These 12 rules of the Indian road are published for the first time in English: ARTICLE I: The assumption of immortality is required of all road users. ARTICLE II: Indian traffic, like Indian society, is structured on a strict caste system. The following precedence must be accorded at all times. In descending order, give way to: Cows, elephants, heavy trucks, buses, official cars, camels, light trucks, buffalo, jeeps, ox-carts, private cars, motorcycles, scooters, auto-rickshaws, pigs, pedal rickshaws, goats, bicycles (goods-carrying), handcarts, bicycles (passenger-carrying), dogs, pedestrians. ARTICLE III: All wheeled vehicles shall be driven in accordance more...