Horses Jokes / Recent Jokes
Dakota tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in business, we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Saying' This is the way we always have ridden this horse.'
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
6. Increasing the standards to ride dead horses.
7. Appointing a tiger team to revive the dead horse.
8. Creating a training session to increase our riding ability.
9. Comparing the state of dead horses in today's environment.
10. Change the requirements declaring that' This horse is not dead!'
11. Hire contractors to ride the dead horse.
12. Harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed.
13. Declaring that' No horse is to dead too beat.'
14. Providing additional funding to more...
Seinfeld-isms, From the Washington Post:
What's with the people who put carpeting on the lid of their toilet seat? What are they thinking -- "Gosh, if we have a party there may not be enough standing room; I'd better carpet the toilet too."
What's with this weird hotel custom of leaving a piece of chocolate on the pillow? I awoke thinking my brain had hemorrhaged some sort of fecal matter.
Have you ever noticed that the waiter who takes your order is not the one who brings your food anymore? What is THAT about? And which waiter are you tipping, anyway? I think next time I go to a restaurant I'll just say, "Oh, sorry, I only eat the food. The guy who pays the bill will be along shortly."
Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, "No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs?" Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, or the blind person?
Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important more...
Where did the newlywed horses stay? In the bridle suite!
Two horses were walking in the yard, when a dog comes strolling by and said hy folks how are you, it's a nice day is'nt. Then one horse turns to the other and says, ''Hey how about that! a talking dog! ''
Why do drummers have half an ounce more brains than horses?
So they don't disgrace themselves in parades.
A guy walks into a bar with a sad look on his face. As he walks up to the bar the bartender asks, "What`s the matter?"
The guy replies, "well I`ve got these two horses, and you see... I can`t tell them apart. I don`t know if I`m mixing up riding times or even feeding them the right food."
The bartender, feeling sorry for the guy, tries to think of something that he can do. "Why don`t you try shaving the tail of one of the horses?"
The man stops crying and says, "That sounds like a good idea, I think I`ll try it."
A few months later he comes back to the bar in worse condition than he was before. "What`s the matter now?" the bartender asks.
The guy, sobbing, answers, "I shaved the tail of one of the horses (sob, sob), but it grew back and I can`t tell them apart again!" The bartender, now just wanting him to shut up or leave says, "Why don`t you try shaving the mane, maybe that will not more...
During a traffic stop a police officer is swatting at a fly that is circling around his head, and blurts out what kind of damn fly is that anyhow. The traffic offender replies, “that’s a circle fly”. The officer replies that he’s never heard of a “circle fly”.
The offender replies circle flies are usually found circling around a horses ass. Enraged, the police officer says, “are you calling me a horses ass? ”, to which the traffic offender replied, “no sir, but you can’t fool a circle fly.