India Jokes / Recent Jokes

Gyani Zail Singh went to the US & had a meeting with Reagan. Reagan said, "I want to show you the advancement in technology in USA. Come with me." Reagan takes him in a deep forest and says. "Dig the ground." Zail Singh digs. Reagan says, "More, more, more..." Zail Singh has now reached a 100 feet. Reagan says, "So now, did you find anything?" Zail Singh, "I got a wire!" Reagan says, "You see, it shows that even 200 years ago we used to have telephones!" Zail Singh was very frustrated and he invited Reagan to India. In India GyaniJi says, "Now I want to show you the advancement in India!" He takes Reagan to a forest and asks him to dig. After some time GyaniJi says, "More.. . more... more!" Reagan has now reached almost 400 feet. Zail Singh says, "Find anything?" Reagan tries but finds nothing, "Nothing here!" GyaniJi says, "You see even 400 years ago we had gone WIRELESS!"

Santa saw that his friend Ram Lai was very depressed.
'What happened?' asked Santa
'Yaar, I lost Rs 800 in a bet yesterday.'
'How come?'
'Well, yesterday, the one day match between India and England was being shown live on TV I bet Rs 500 that India would win, but I lost the bet.'
'But that's only Rs 500, where did the rest go?'
'Yaar, I bet on the highlights too!'

Once Laloo Yadav, Sonia Gandhi, a saint and a schoolboy were traveling by a private plane. Suddenly the engine caught fire and the pilot came out shouting, "This plane is going to crash! And we have only four parachutes and there are five of us in the plane.

Since I am a very important Indian Airlines pilot I am taking one parachute and getting out of here." Saying this he rushed to the luggage area grabbed one parachute and jumped off the plane. Sonia Gandhi said, "Since I am the future Prime Minister of India I am very important and have to live!" She also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

Laloo Yadav said, "I am the king-maker of this country, the most honest politician of India and above all the most intelligent person living in this country, and the most intelligent person must live!" Saying so Laloo went to the luggage area, grabbed one and jumped off the plane.

The old saint said to the school boy, "There is only more...

10. You think most Indian teenagers are pure and chaste.

9. You think everyone in the world knows about the O. J. Simpson case.

8. You can't believe the world wide web exists in India. You can't believe Delhi has had phone services like call waiting and the other fancy stuff you get here for the past three years and you can't believe there have been ATM (like MAC) machines in Indian cities for more than 7 years.

7. You like Broccoli.

6. You find cricket to be boring but watch golf, bowling or curling on TV.

5. You express sarcasm with "Yeah, right."

4. When you see anyone at all pass by you on the road, you greet them with a "Howz it goin", "Whassup" or "How you doin" and keep walking on.

3. You say "interesting" when either you don't care or think it is weird.

2. You refer to India as a Third World Country.

1. You understood, enjoyed and more...

Traveling on Indian Roads is an almost hallucinatory potion of sound, spectacle and experience. It is frequently heart-rending, sometimes hilarious, mostly exhilarating, always unforgettable -- and, when you are on the roads, extremely dangerous.

Most Indian road users observe a version of the Highway Code based on a Sanskrit text. These 12 rules of the Indian road are published for the first time in English:
ARTICLE I:

The assumption of immortality is required of all road users.
ARTICLE II:

Indian traffic, like Indian society, is structured on a strict caste system. The following precedence must be accorded at all times. In descending order, give way to:
Cows, elephants, heavy trucks, buses, official cars, camels, light trucks, buffalo, jeeps, ox-carts, private cars, motorcycles, scooters, auto-rickshaws, pigs, pedal rickshaws, goats, bicycles (goods-carrying), handcarts, bicycles (passenger-carrying), dogs, pedestrians.
ARTICLE more...

An American tourist arrives in India; it is his first visit to the country. He hires a cab for the day to take him round the city. Outside a bakery, he espies a big mob jostling, pushing, everyone trying to get in at the same time.' What is going on?' he asks the Sikh taxi driver.
The sardar/ir is very patriotic and does not wish the foreigner to have an unfavourable impression of his country.' They are shooting a film,' he replies blandly.
A little later they come to a yet greater mob of people outside a ration shop selling wheat and cooking oil. Jostling, pushing, everyone trying to get in at the same time.' What's going on here?' demands the American.
'It's the same film; part second,' replies the sardar//^ and drives on.
A third mob outside the kerosene oil depot. Men, women and children banging their tin cans, raising a hell of a shinding. And what's going on here?' asks the visitor.
'Same film; part three,' replied the sardar//.
'Say, what kind of more...

A sardarji went to us & had a meeting with george
Bush.

Bush: i want to show you the us advancement. Come
With
Me. (he takes him in a deep forest)

Bush: dig the ground. (sardarji did it.)

Bush: more.. more.. more... (sardarji went up to 100
Feet)

Bush: so now, try to search something.

Sardarji: i got a wire.

Bush: you know, it shows that even 100 years ago we
Used to have telephones. (sardarji became
Frustrated.)

He invited bush to india. Next year bush had been in
India

Sardarji: i want to show you our advancement. (the
Same, he takes bush in forest.)

Sardar: dig it. (bush does.)

Sardar: more... more.. more.......... (bush goes upto
Almost 400 feet...)

Sardarji: try to find something. (bush tries.)

Sardarji: did you get anything?

Bush: no.

Sardarji: yes, even 400 years ago we used to more...