India Jokes / Recent Jokes

An Indian man walked into a bank in New York City and asks for a loan. He told the loan officer that he is going to India on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5, 000.
The bank officer told him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan. So the Indian man handed over the keys of his new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produceed the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreeed to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Indian for using a $250, 000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5, 000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drew the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parked it there.
Two weeks later, the Indian returned, repayed the $5, 000 and the interest, which comes to $15. 41.
The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy
to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we more...

For long, India's colonial rulers divided the country's population by the numbers. And as current-day politicians continue with that unholy task, we present a shortcut to make their work easier. Here's distinguishing India's different cultures by the numbers: MALAYALEES One Malayalee is a narial-pani shop.
Two Malayalees is a boat race.
Three Malayalees is a Gulf job racket.
Four Malayalees is an oilslick. TAMILIANS
One Tamilian is a fugitive sandalwood smuggler.
Two Tamilians is a suicide-bomb squad.
Three Tamilians is a classical music school.
Four Tamilians is a Jayalalitha fan club. ANDHRAITES
One Andhraite is a cycle-rickshaw driver.
Two Andhraites is a spice shop.
Three Andhraites is a Naxalite outfit.
Four Andhraites is the Telugu film industry. BENGALIS
One Bengali is a rosagulla shop.
Two Bengalis is a black-and-white movie.
Three Bengalis is a Mohun Bagan support group.
Four Bengalis is a Marxist more...

INDIAN ROAD RULES
1. Do we drive on the left or right of the road? The answer is "both".
Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In
that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by
occupying the next available gap, as in chess.

2. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed.
Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality.

3. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the intended
direction. Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself. Except for
a belief in reincarnation, the other drivers are not in any better
position.

4. Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to
cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back.
Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is
moving slowly or had come to a dead stop more...

Traveling on Indian Roads is an almost hallucinatory potion of sound, spectacle and experience. It is frequently heart-rending, sometimes hilarious, mostly exhilarating, always unforgettable -- and, when you are on the roads, extremely dangerous. Most Indian road users observe a version of the Highway Code based on a Sanskrit text. These 12 rules of the Indian road are published for the first time in English: ARTICLE I: The assumption of immortality is required of all road users. ARTICLE II: Indian traffic, like Indian society, is structured on a strict caste system. The following precedence must be accorded at all times. In descending order, give way to: Cows, elephants, heavy trucks, buses, official cars, camels, light trucks, buffalo, jeeps, ox-carts, private cars, motorcycles, scooters, auto-rickshaws, pigs, pedal rickshaws, goats, bicycles (goods-carrying), handcarts, bicycles (passenger-carrying), dogs, pedestrians. ARTICLE III: All wheeled vehicles shall be driven in accordance more...

To help the new wave of incoming students from India, here are the proper answers to awkward questions asked everyday:
Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean?
A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target....
Q. You're from India? I have read so much about the country. All the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the elephants. Do you still use elephants for transportation?
A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in our house. But later, we started participating in elephant-ride sharing schemes with our neighbors, to save the air. You see elephants have an "emissions" problem.....
Q. Does India have cars?
A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to encourage ride-sharing more...

there are 3 people 1from china, 1 from america and 1 from india
and all three of them are trying to prove whos country was more scientifically developed.
(1)
The Chinese man takes the other two along with him to china and digs the ground 200 meteres he finds a phone cable and says >>my country had phones 200 years ago
(2)
The American man gets really frustrated and takes the other two to america, there he digs a hole 400 meteres deep and finds a telephone wire, he then says >we had phones 400 years ago.
(3)
The Indian then takes the other two to india and digs a hole 800 meteres deep but finds no wire at all he then says 800 years back we had mobile phones!!

Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India ka flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne flag dikhaya.

Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.