India Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Hindu gets on a plane and sits next to a European.
As the plane takes off, he unrolls a wrapper containing Hindu vegetarian food which smells so much that the European's nose twitches.
He turns to the man and says, "Food India" with a grin.
He then takes out a container containing the foulest smelling liquid and again the man at the side has a twitching nose.
He grins sheepishly at the man and says, "Sorry. Drink India"
He then proceeds with his meal.
As soon as he has finished he farts. It is a loud, long fart.
He grins sheeepishly and says, "Air India"

Americans: We Have So Much Money That We Can Buy Anything On Earth Japanese: Our Trains Are So Fast That They Can Reach From
America To India In A Few Seconds. Chinese: Our Great Wall Is So Big That Those On The Moon Can See It Easily. Indian: Our
Thieves Are So Clever That They Steal The Money From Americans, Sit In The Japanese Trains, Climb The Great Wall Of China And
Jump Back To India

The New Indian Railway is committed to bring the following changes with immediate effect in an endeavour to make it the most people-friendly railways in the world......
1. Re-introduce steam locos - to boost coal industry in Bihar.
2. Dismantle the reservation system, all seats will be open to
janata, no more reservations by upper cast and rich people.
3. A/C coaches will be abolished, A/Cs will be auctioned in
chhapra.
4. Shatabdi express to be renamed as Rabri Devi express.
5. 10 new trains to be introduced from different parts of Bihar to Patna.
6. All double lines to be reduced to single track to cut costs - the rails, sleepers etc to be auctioned in Muzaffarpore.
7. Samjhota express will run from Patna to Peshwar, however it will be converted to a goods train to carry fodder.
8. New maha bhoj - litti and sattu - to be served in all luxury trains - palace on wheels, deccan odyssey etc.
9. Re-zoning of railways: north Bihar, more...

Santa went on a vacation to the Middle East with most of his family including his mother-in-law. During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalem, Santa's mother-in-law died.
With the death certificate in hand, Santa went to the Indian Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to Punjab, India for a proper funeral ceremony.
The Consul, after hearing of the death of the mother-in-law told Santa that the sending of a body back to India for cremation is very, very expensive. It could cost as much as fifty thousand rupees. The Consul then advised Santa that in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to cremate the body here. This would cost very less.
Santa thinks for some time and answers, "I don't care how much it will cost to send the body back; that's what I want to do."
The Consul, after hearing this, says "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much considering the difference in more...

Garbachan singh was travelling from calcutta to bombay by a plane, there were one american, one russian, one pakistani and some other passengers. Suddenly something went wrong pilot alarmed that plane lost it's control and some of the passengers have to jump out to rescue the rest of them. Firstly the american jumped out saying "jai america" again the condition didn't change then the russian jumped out from the plane saying "jai russia". But the condition still the same. The next is garbachen's turn he hesitated for a moment and pulled out the pakistani by saying "jai india".

The SETTING: Pageant Night Ms. Universe Beauty Pageant Q & A Portion THE FINALISTS: Ms. America Ms. Spain Ms. Britain Ms. Iran Ms. India Ms. Philippines QUESTION: Ms. America, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. AMERICA: Well, I would say that, male organs in America are like gentlemen. QUESTION: Why do you say that? MS. AMERICA: Because it stands every time it sees a woman. (Applause... Applause) QUESTION: Ms. Spain, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. SPAIN: Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight. QUESTION: Why do you say that? MS. SPAIN: Because it charges every time it sees an opening. (Applause.... Applause) QUESTION: Ms. Britain, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. BRITAIN: Male organs in our country are like Shakespearian actors. QUESTION: Why do you say that? MS. BRITAIN: Because it cries after every performance. (Applause... Applause) QUESTION: Ms. Iran, how would you describe a male more...

Wal-Mart announced plans to open its first retail stores in India. Tags on clothes will read, "Made Here."