Jelly Jokes / Recent Jokes
An American, wearing Bermuda shorts, T-shirt, and a baseball cap, walks into a caf
Jelly Bean walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie.
After a few beers the Smartie says "Ere, do you fancy going to that new club in town?" and the Jelly Bean says "No mate, I'm a soft centre, I always end up getting my head kicked in."
So Smartie says "Don't worry about it, I'm a bit of a hard case, I'll look after you." So Jelly Bean says "Fair enough, as long as you'll look after me." and off they went.
After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk in. As soon as he sees them, Smartie hides under a table, the Lockets take one look at Jelly Bean and start kicking him, punching him and generally having a laugh.
After a while they get bored and walk out. Jelly Bean pulls his battered Jelly Bean body over to the table and wipes his Jelly Bean blood up and turns to Smartie and says "I thought you were going to look after me?"
"I was!" says Smartie, "But those Lockets are menthol!"
What does a pirate put on toast? Jelly Roger.
When I had a bag of jelly babys I put my hand in the bag, and one of those black fuckers stole my watch!
Q: What is a dog's favorite Easter terat?
A: Jelly bones!
Q: What has big ears, brings Easter terats, and goes hippity-BOOM< hippity-BOOM?
A: The Easter Elephant.
Q: How should you send a letter to the Easter Bunny?
A: By hare mail!
Q: What do you need if your chocolate eggs mysteriously disappear?
A: You need an eggsplanation!
Q: How did the soggy Easter Bunny dry himself?
A: With a hare dryer!
Q: How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan?
A: They're both famous for stuffing baskets!
Q: What's red and blue and sogs up your Easter basket?
A: Colored scrambled eggs!
Q: Did you hear about the farmer who fed crayons to his chickens?
A: He wanted them to lay colored eggs!
Q: What did one colored egg say to the other?
A:' Heard any good yolks lately!'
Q: What's big and purple and hugs your Easter basket?
A: The Easter Barney!
Q: How does the Easter Bunny paint all of those eggs?
A: He more...