Jessica Jokes / Recent Jokes
Once there was a girl named Maria having her 13th birthday. She had three of her closest friends over. Their names were Jessica, Sarah and Amy. Amy told Maria that she heard weird sounds coming from the closet and she thought there was a ghost in it, but Maria didn't believe her. Next, Sarah told Maria the same, but Maria still didn't believe them. Then Jessica told Maria the same thing too. This time, Maria said "Chill guys! I'll even go to closet and prove that it is safe!" Maria did as she had said and her three friends followed her. Maria turned out to be wrong.
There was a strange noise coming from the closet. She listened closely and heard a mysterious voice saying "I've gotcha where I want ya, and now I'm gonna eat ya!"
Maria got freaked out and said "I don't believe it! I'm just gonna check one more time."
Again she heard "I've gotcha where I want ya, and now I'm gonna eat ya!" But this time she opened the closet so that she more...
Jessica was toweling off in front of the mirror when she noticed a few gray pubic hairs. She bent down and said to her privates... "I know you haven't been getting much lately... but I didn't know you were so worried about it!"
For each Google search, choose the correct number of returned search results.*
1. "Suri Cruise" & "Looks Asian"
a). 14,700
b). 79
c). 470
2. "Suri Cruise" & "Slanty Eyes"
a). 0
b). 3
c). 15
3. "Mel Gibson was right"
a). 32
b). 1,220
c). 511
4. "John Mark Karr" & "Boyishly Sexy"
a). 0
b). 14
c). 19,000
5. "Jessica Simpson" & "John Mayer"
a). 4,470,000
b). 1,410,000
c). 9,650,000
6. "Jessica Simpson" & "Mahmoud Ahmadinejad"
a). 19,100
b). 292,000
c). 909
7. "Mahmoud Ahmadinejad" & "Repressed Homosexual"
a). 43
b). 504
c). 838
*search results as of September 14, 2006, 2:35 PM EDT
Answers: 1)c 2)c 3)b 4)a 5)b 6)a 7)a
John & Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, "Im very sorry officer, I didnt realize it was out, Ill get it fixed right away."Just then Jessica said, "I knew this would happen when I told you two days ago to get that light fixed." So the officer asked for Johns license and after looking at it said, "Sir your license has expired." And again John apologized and mentioned that he didnt realize that it had expired and would take care of it first thing in the morning. Jessica said, "I told you a week ago that the state sent you a letter telling you that your license had expired." Well by this time, John is a bit upset with his wife contradicting him in front of the officer, and he said in a rather loud voice, "Jessica, will you shut up!" The officer then leaned over toward Jessica and asked. more...
Jessica Simpson recently signed up for golf lessons. Perfect. She already has the high waist pants.
When Jessica was asked to comment on Mackenzie Phillip's allegation that her father had sex with her, she replied " I think it's terrible and to show support I am going to boycott Papa John's and Poppycock immediately!"