Jessica Jokes / Recent Jokes

Jack and Jessica met on the beach, fell in love with each other at first glance, and after three days, were married. The wedding night was just as successful as it could be, but when Jessica awoke the following morning, she found her husband dressing.
She said, "Honey, where are you going?"
Jack said, "Darling, we married so rapidly, I had no chance to tell you that I'm a golf fiend. I play golf every day, I enter every tournament. I am afraid that you will rarely see me."
Jessica nodded and said, "Well, that's all right. After all, we married so rapidly, I had no chance to tell you, either, that I'm a hooker."
Jack said, "Oh sweetheart that's nothing - don't worry about that for a minute! It's easily corrected by holding the golf club like this..."

John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, "I'm very sorry officer, I didn't realize it was out, I'll get it fixed right away."
Just then Jessica said, "I knew this would happen when I told you two days ago to get that light fixed."
So the officer asked for John's license and after looking at it said, "Sir your license has expired."
And again John apologized and mentioned that he didn't realize that it had expired and would take care of it first thing in the morning.
Jessica said, "I told you a week ago that the state sent you a letter telling you that your license had expired."
Well by this time, John is a bit upset with his wife contradicting him in front of the officer, and he said in a rather loud voice, "Jessica, shut your mouth!" more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Jessica!
Jessica who?
Jessica more than I thought!

Jessica Alba and Brad Pitt were recently voted Most Desired Kissing Partners by British men and Women in a survey conducted by Colgate. One respondant said "Sure I'd love to kiss Jessica Alba. But, what's Colgate?"

An overly protective father of two very beautiful blonde teenagers, was out with his wife, at the movies, for her birthday. His wife decides to watch one of those boring, romance movies. He agrees, and takes her, but while they are there, doesn't watch the movie at all. Instead, he is looking around the movie for anything to interest him, when he looks upon his oldest daughter, Melissa, who is 15. She was making "love" to her boyfriend. He tells his wife, and she said to ingnore it, and they'll deal with it when they get home. So, instead of making his wife mad on her birthday, he ignores it and looks for something else to watch. On the other side of the room, he sees his 13 year old daughter, Jessica, with her boyfriend, doing the same thing. He tells his wife, and once again, she says to ignore it. After the movie, he goes home, and thinks about the punishment he should give them. He finally comes to a solution. He quickly runs to his daughters room, and finds her more...

Derek Jeter was just named “Sportsman of the Year” by Sports Illustrated. Well, no kidding- look at the lineup surrounding that guy: Jessica Biels, Scarlet Johansson, Vanessa Minnillo, Jessica Alba...