Neighbour Jokes / Recent Jokes

Teacher: Mohan, Assam Is Special For What Product? Mohan: I Dont Know Mam.
Teacher: Ok I'll Give You A Clue, From Where Doyou Get Tea Powder?
Mohan: From Our Neighbour's House!!!

A NEWLY-employed villager was very weak in English. Once he asked his more educated neighbour to draft an application asking for casual leave for a day as he was down with fever.
The neighbour dictated the application in the following words: "Respected Sir-As I am suffering from fever, I may kindly be granted casual leave for today only."
He kept a copy of his application for subsequent use. Later, on the eve of his sister's marriage, he wrote an application on his own. It read as follows: "Respected Sir-As I am suffering from my sister's marriage tomorrow, kindly grant me casual leave for the next two days."

A NEIGHBOUR asked his friend the haal-chaal of his son. The father replied, "Thank You. He's Puppy." The neighbour was shocked and asked, "What! What do you
mean?
The father said, "Puppy is an acronym for Prosperous, Urban, Post-Independence, Punjabi, Youth."

Vive la differance
Mrs. Levy was talking to her neighbour. "Oy, my daughter-in-law is just so lazy! She sleeps until after ten o`clock every single morning! My poor son, Solomon, wakes up at the crack of dawn and has to make his own breakfast. The house she won`t clean; she made my Solomon get her a maid so she wouldn`t have to lift a finger. Then, when he comes home after a long, hard day at work, Solomon has to make dinner because she can`t be bothered even with that!"
The neighbour sighs and asks, "Nu...and how is your daughter?"
"Oh, now my daughter Rivka has an absolute gem of a husband. He insists my Rivka pamper herself by sleeping late in the morning; he hired help so she shouldn`t have to work so hard, and he even comes home from work and tells her to relax while he takes care of dinner!"

Car Parking
The smallest kerbside space successfully reversed into by a woman was one of 19. 36m (63ft 2ins), equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs. Elizabeth Simpkins, driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova' Swing' on 12th October 1993. She started the manoeuvre at 11. 15am in Ropergate, Pontefract, and successfully parked within three feet of the pavement 8 hours 14 minutes later. There was slight damage to the bumpers and wings of her own and two adjoining cars, as well as a shop frontage and two lampposts.
Incorrect Driving
The longest journey completed with the handbrake on was one of 504 km (313 miles) from Stranraer to Holyhead by Dr. Julie Thorn (GB) at the wheel of a Saab 900 on the 2nd April 1987. Dr. Thorn smelled burning two miles into her journey at Aird but pressed on to Holyhead with smoke billowing from the rear wheels. This journey also holds the records for the longest completed journey with the choke fully out and the right indicator more...

A man tried to sell his neighbour a new dog. "This is a talking dog," hesaid. "And you can have him for five dollars." The neighbour said, "Who doyou think you're kidding with this talking dog stuff? There ain't no suchanimal." Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes. "Please buy me, Sir," hepleaded. "This man is cruel. He never buys me a meal, never bathes me, never takes me for a walk. And I used to be the richest trick dog inAmerica. I performed before kings. I was in the army and was decorated tentimes." "Hey!" said the neighbour. "He can talk. Why do you want to sell him forjust five dollars?" "Because," said the seller, "I'm getting tired of allhis lies."

One Day A Neighbour Asked His Neighbour That Why Do The Flies Of Your House Keep Sitting On Me. The Other Neighbour
Replied-'Oh God Even I Am Sick Of Their Habit. Whatever Dirty Things They Find, They Sit On Them.'