Pile Jokes / Recent Jokes
At the site, one lone survivor sat with his back against a tree, chewing on a bone. As
he tossed the bone onto a huge pile of there bones, he noticed the rescue team.
"Thank God", he cried out in relief. "I am saved!"
The rescue team did not move, as they were in shock, seeing the pile of human bones
beside this lone survivor. Obviously he had eaten his comrades.
The Survivor saw the horror in their faces and hung his own head in shame. "You
can't judge me for this," he insisted. "I had to survive. Is it so wrong to want to live?"
The leader of the rescue team stepped forward, shaking his head in disbelief. "I won't
judge you for doing what was necessary to survive, but my God man, your plane only
went down yesterday!"
A group of guys went fishing. After each had enjoyed their catch they were sitting around chatting about the number of fish each caught. Kent said he caught 10, Randell said he caught 15, Homer said he caught 28, Winston remained quiet for a moment then said without counting "I think I have so many I can't put "em in one pile!"
Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline?
A. I take my shoes of to jump on a trampoline
Q. What's worse then 10 dead babies nailed to one tree?
A. One dead baby nailed to 10 trees
Q. What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies?
A. I don't have a Porsche in my garage
A little fella walks into a bar. Unfortunately for him, there is a pile of dog crap just inside the door and he slips in it and falls over. He gets up, cleans himself, walks to the bar and buys a drink.A great big man then enters the bar. He slips in the same pile of poop, falls, gets up, cleans himself and then buys a drink.Trying to strike up a conversation, the little guy turns to the big guy, points to the pile by the door and says, "I just did that."The big guy punched him in the mouth.
An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site.
The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."
To the Irishman he says "You're in charge of shovelling."
To the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
He then says "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile."
So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, but when he returns the pile of sand is untouched.
He says to the Italian: "Why didn't you sweep any of it!?"
The Italian replies in a heavy accent, "I no gotta broom, an' you tella me dat de Chinese'a guy supposa bringa da supplies, but he disappear and I no finda him."
Then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel. The Irishman replies in his heavy brogue, "Aye, ye did lad, but I counna get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinese more...
An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site.The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."To the Irishman he says "You're in charge of shovelling."To the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."He then says "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile."So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, but when he returns the pile of sand is untouched.He says to the Italian: "Why didn't you sweep any of it!?"The Italian replies in a heavy accent, "I no gotta broom, an' you tella me dat de Chinese'a guy supposa bringa da supplies, but he disappear and I no finda him."Then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel. The Irishman replies in his heavy brogue, "Aye, ye did lad, but I counna get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinese guy in charge of supplies, but I counna more...
The old spinster was rocking on her front porch with her tomcat at her feet, when a good fairy suddenly appeared before her and offered her three wishes." Aw, go on," the little old lady said in disbelief, "if you can grant three wishes, let's see you turn this rocking chair into a pile of gold?" The good fairy waved her hand, and "pouf", the rocking chair turned into a pile of pure gold. Her face lighting up, the lady said "I really get two more wishes?" "Yes", the good fairy assured her. "Anything your heart desires." "Then make me into a beautiful, voluptuous young woman." Another wave of her hand, and the wish was granted." Finally, make my faithful old cat into a tall, dark and handsome young man." The good fairy waved her hand and disappeared as the third wish came true, and a handsome muscular young man stood where the tomcat had just been sleeping. The young man approached the once-old lady, took more...