Pizza Jokes / Recent Jokes

Some pizza boxes from suburban Ohio pizza parlors will features mug shots of deadbeat parents.

The hope is that some of them will see their picture, and realize that if they just order a regular pie without extra toppings, they can save up enough money to donate to their kids.

What does a gynocologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?

They can smell it but can't eat it

The software engineering community has been placing a great deal of
emphasis lately on metrics and their use in software development. The
following metrics are probably among the most valuable for a software
project:
The Pizza Metric
How: Count the number of pizza boxes in the lab.
What: Measures the amount of schedule under-estimation.
If people are spending enough after-hours time
working on the project that they need to have
meals delivered to the office, then there has
obviously been a mis-estimation somewhere.
The Aspirin Metric
How: Maintain a centrally-located aspirin bottle for use
by the team. At the beginning and end of each month,
count the number of aspirin remaining aspirin in the
bottle.
What: Measures stress suffered by the team during the project.
This most likely indicates poor project design in the
early phases, which causes over-expenditure of effort
later on. In the early phases, high more...

What does pizza delivery man anda gynaecologist have in common? Both can smell it but can't eat it

1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day. 2. Nice legs... what time do they open? 3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package. 4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more? 5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money? 6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you. 7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one? 8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight. 9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me. 10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter. 11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag. 12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked. 13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven? 14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away. 15. Are those real? 16. You must be more...

The following signs, spotted at various locations, say it all:
Sign over a gynecologist's office:
Dr. Jones, at your cervix.
At a military hospital - door to endoscopy:
To expedite your visit, please back in.
On a Plumber's truck:
We repair what your husband fixed.
On the trucks of a local plumbing company:
Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.
Pizza shop slogan:
7 days without pizza makes one weak.
Another Pizza shop slogan:
Buy our pizza. We knead the dough.
At a tire shop in Milwaukee:
Invite us to your next blowout.
Door of a plastic surgeon's office:
Hello. Can we help pick your nose?
At a towing company:
We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.
On an electrician's truck:
Let us remove your shorts.
On a maternity room door:
Push. Push. Push.
At an optometrist's office:
If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
On a taxidermist's more...

Q. What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
A. They can both smell it, but can't eat it.