Princess Jokes / Recent Jokes

Princess Diana and Dolly Parton had both died on the same night. When they reached the gates of Heaven they were greeted by St. Peter.
St. Peter said "Excuse me ladies, but before I let you in... I must know what you were doing when you died... you see Heaven has become AWFULLY crowded...it's our new policy!" He smiled.
"Well...if you must know...I was standing in front of the mirror examining my boobs..." Dolly Parton said.
"And I was going to the bathroom!" Princess Diana said.
"You may enter into Heaven..." St. Peter held the gate open for Princess Diana to pass through.
"WAIT A MINUTE! How come she gets to go and not me?!" Dolly Parton asked.
"Why...don't you know...a royal flush beats 2 of a kind!" St. Peter exclaimed.

Princess Diana and Dolly Parton had both died on the same night. When they reached the gates of Heaven they were greeted by St. Peter.St. Peter said "Excuse me ladies, but before I let you in... I must know what you were doing when you died... you see Heaven has become AWFULLY crowded...it's our new policy!" He smiled."Well...if you must know...I was standing in front of the mirror examining my boobs..." Dolly Parton said."And I was going to the bathroom!" Princess Diana said."You may enter into Heaven..." St. Peter held the gate open for Princess Diana to pass through."WAIT A MINUTE! How come she gets to go and not me?!" Dolly Parton asked."Why...don't you know...a royal flush beats 2 of a kind!" St. Peter exclaimed.

One night, a king a queen a prince and a princess were at a bar and they decided to take a vacation to colorado and they get on the plane and then the plane crashes. The king, the queen, the prince and the princess all die, who was left?
The night was left because when you say this to someone the will think it is the night sky, unlike the person!!!
Why was piglet looking in the toilet?
He was looking for pooh!!!
There was a man and he walked into a drinking bar and another man gave him a glass of water and then pointed a gun at him, why did he do this?
He had the hiccups!!!

What is the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomanic and a
Jewish American Princess?
A prositute says "Are you done yet?"
A nymphomanic says "You're done already!!"
A Jewish American Princess says "Beige,... I think I'll
paint the ceiling beige"

My 75 year old Dad was taking his daily walk through the park when he heard a tiny voice calling to him. "Hey, mister! Pssst, mister!" Dad looked all around, and spotted a little frog sitting in the grass looking up at him." Hey mister," said the frog. "A wicked witch cast a spell on me, and turned me into an ugly frog. If you'll just kiss me I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and be forever grateful." Dad reached down, picked up the frog, put it in his pocket, and proceeded to walk on. The frog called out to him again, "Hey! Didn't you hear me? I said if you'll kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess and be forever grateful." Dad replied, "I heard you, but at my age, I'd rather just have a talking frog!"

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I`ll turn into a beautiful princess".He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I`ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I`ve told you I`m a beautiful princess, that I`ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won`t you kiss me?"The engineer said, "Look I`m an engineer. I don`t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that`s cool."

Q: What do you get when you cross a Jewish American Princess with a computer? A: A computer that never goes down on you.