Public Jokes / Recent Jokes

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Sunday, November 29, 1992An investigation by the Dallas Morning News revealed the city's public schools employ at least 185 people who have been convicted of felonies, including two convicted murderers.In response, the school superintendent promised that the city would begin periodic records checks.

At one time, margarine was illegal. While all cheese making requires a license, Limburger cheese making requires a master cheese maker's license. It is illegal to kiss on a train. It is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep.It is illegal to cut a woman's hair. You must manually flush all urinals in a building. Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons. Whenever two trains meet at an intersection of said tracks, neither shall proceed until the other has. As people used to smuggle it in from Illinois, all yellow butter substitute is banned. State Law made it illegal to serve apple pie in public restaurants without cheese. La Crosse: It is illegal to tie up your horse along Third Street (Now a major bar strip).La Crosse: It is illegal to display an unclothed mannequin in a store window. La Crosse: It is illegal to play checkers in public. La Crosse: You cannot "worry a squirrel." Milwaukee: An old ordinance forbids parking for over two hours unless more...

Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under you vehicle... From the NORTHWEST FLORIDA Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.

A husband and wife go visit a marriage counselor. First, the wife speaks to the counselor alone. The counselor asks, "You say you've been married 20 years, so what seems to be the problem?" The wife replies, "It's my husband -- he's driving me crazy! I'm going to leave him if he continues!" "How does he drive you crazy?" "For 20 years," she says, "he's been doing these stupid things. First, whenever we go out, he's always looking at the floor and refuses to go near anyone. It's very embarrassing."
The marriage counselor is amused, "Anything else?" "He keeps picking his nose all the time! Even in public!" "Hmm, anything else?" probes the counselor further. The wife hesitates, "whenever we're making love, he NEVER lets me be on top! Once in a while, I'd like to be in control!"
"Ah," says the counselor, "I think I'll talk to your husband now." So the wife goes out of more...

The New Indian Railway is committed to bring the following changes with immediate effect in an endeavour to make it the most people-friendly railways in the world......
1. Re-introduce steam locos - to boost coal industry in Bihar.
2. Dismantle the reservation system, all seats will be open to
janata, no more reservations by upper cast and rich people.
3. A/C coaches will be abolished, A/Cs will be auctioned in
chhapra.
4. Shatabdi express to be renamed as Rabri Devi express.
5. 10 new trains to be introduced from different parts of Bihar to Patna.
6. All double lines to be reduced to single track to cut costs - the rails, sleepers etc to be auctioned in Muzaffarpore.
7. Samjhota express will run from Patna to Peshwar, however it will be converted to a goods train to carry fodder.
8. New maha bhoj - litti and sattu - to be served in all luxury trains - palace on wheels, deccan odyssey etc.
9. Re-zoning of railways: north Bihar, more...

Civil War Era Humor The following are supposedly true definitions, stories, and terms relating to the Civil War. BIGGEST MAN... The biggest man in the Union Army was Capt. David Van Buskirk of the 27th Indiana Regiment who stood 6 feet 11 inches and weighed 380 pounds. He was captured in 1862 and was sent to a Richmond Prison where a Confederate entrepreneur put him on exhibit. Even Confederate President Jeff Davis came to see him and was astounded when the impish Van Buskirk claimed that back home in Bloomington Indiana, "when I was at the train station with my company, my six sisters came to say goodbye. As I was standing there, with my company, they all came up to me, leaned down and kissed me on top of the head." LETTER HOME... A young soldier left home to join the army. He told his girl friend that he would write every day. After about six months, he received a letter from his girlfriend that she was marrying someone else. He wrote home to his family to find out who she more...

When you are dating..... Farting is never an issue When you are married. ...You make sure there's nothing flammable near your husband...... at all time When you are dating..... He takes you out to have a good time When you are married. ...He brings home a 6 pack, and says "What are you going to drink?" When you are dating..... He holds your hand in public When you are married. ...He flicks your ear in public When you are dating..... A Single bed for 2 isn't THAT bad When you are married. ...A King size bed feels like an army cot When you are dating..... You are turned on at the sight of him naked When you are married. ...You think to yourself...."Was he ALWAYS this hairy????" When you are dating..... You enjoyed foreplay When you are married. ...You tell him "If we have sex, will you leave me alone???" When you are dating..... He hugs you, when he walks by you. ..for no reason When you are married. ...He grabs your boob any chance he gets When you are more...