Puppy Jokes / Recent Jokes
One a day a boy walked through a street with his grand father. And he saw that two dogs are fucking. He asked grand father " what are they doing grand pa". and grand father replys "they are trying to make a puppy".
After one week, that little boy saw that his parents are fucking in their room. And he asked his grand father "what are they doing" and ge got a reply as "they are trying make a little sister for you".
Suddenly, boy ran to his father and said "father, father! turn mum around and do it to mum's backside. So, we can have a puppy".
A father was walking with his young son in the park when they came upon two dogs having sex. The boy asked his dad what the dogs were doing. He said that they were making a puppy.
A couple of days later the boy walked in on his parents who were having sex on the couch. He asked his father what they were doing. He said that they were making a baby.
The boy replied,' Can you turn Mummy over? I'd much rather have a puppy.'
A timid little man entered a biker bar, cleared his throat and meekly asked, "Umm, excuse me gentlemen, but would one of you happen to own the Rottweiler tied up outside?"
A giant of a man turned slowly on his stool, looked down on the quivering little man and said, "That's my dog. Why?"
Shaking in his shoes, the little man nervously replied, "I'm sorry, but I believe my dog just killed it."
"What?" roared the biker. "Just what kind of dog do you have?"
"Well, sir," replied the little man, "it's a five-week old puppy."
"Don't be ridiculous!" growled the biker. "How could your little puppy possibly kill my Rottweiler?"
"It seems he choked on it, sir!"
Why PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE
"One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too."
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell .. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular."
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful."
ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life."
"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long."
ON THE ROLE OF BEAUTY AND HANDSOMENESS IN LOVE
"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful."
"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet."
"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a more...
HOW DO PEOPLE IN LOVE TYPICALLY BEHAVE?
"When a person gets kissed for the first time, they fall down and they don't get up for at least an hour." Wendy, age 8.
"Mooshy...like puppy dogs...except puppy dogs don't wag their tails nearly as much." Arnold, age 10.
"All of a sudden, the people get movies fever so they can sit together in the dark." Shem, age 8.
CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE
"One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too." Andrew, age 6.
ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." John, age 9.
REFLECTIONS ON THE NATURE OF LOVE
"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too." Greg, age 8.
CONCERNING WHY LOVERS OFTEN HOLD HANDS
"They are just practicing for when they might have to walk down the aisle some day and do the holy more...
You've seen those ads on TV promising amazing results from all sorts
of contraptions. Well, there's no need to invest in fancy equipment.
If you have (or can borrow) a dog, you have everything you need to
get in shape now!!! The following exercises can be done anywhere,
anytime.
Inner Thighs: Place the dog's favorite toy between thighs. Press
tighter than the dog can pull. Do not attempt bare legged - dogs who
favor shortcuts to success will just dig the toy out. You could be
damaged.
Upper Body Strength: Lift the dog - off the couch, off the bed, out
of the flower bed. Repeat, repeat, repeat. As the dog ages, this
exercise is reversed - onto the couch, onto the bed, into the car and
so on.
Balance and Coordination, Exercise 1: Remove your puppy from
unsuitable tight places. If they're too small for him, they're
certainly too small for you. Do it anyway!
Balance and Coordination, Exercise 2: Practice not falling when more...