Received Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dear Bank Manager,
I am writing to thank you for bouncing the check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations some three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check, and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has only been in place for eight years.
You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account with $50 by way of penalty for the inconvenience I caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to re-think my errant financial ways. You have set me on the path of fiscal righteousness.
No more will our relationship be blighted by these unpleasant incidents, for I am restructuring my affairs in 1999, taking as my model the procedures, attitudes and conduct of your very bank. I can think of no greater more...

A young couple got married and went away on their honeymoon. After 2 weeks they came back and finally put away all of the presents they received from friends and family. Since this was a new home, the process took some time. The silver went into the closet, items were put on the walls for display and some of the more intimate apparel was put in the bedroom drawers.
A week later, they received in the mail two tickets for a popular show where tickets were impossible to get. They were very excited and warmed by the gesture of the person who sent this. Inside the envelope, however, was only a small piece of paper with a single line.
"Guess who sent them."
The pair had much fun trying to identify the donor, but failed in the effort. They went to the theatre, and had a wonderful time. On their return home late at night, still trying to guess the identity of the unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of value. And on the bare table in the more...

A young couple got married and went away on their honeymoon. After 2 weeks they came back and finally put away all of the presents they received from friends and family.
Since this was a new home, the process took some time. The silver went into the closet, items were put on the walls for display and some of the most intimate apparels were put in the bedroom drawers.
A week later, they received a mail carrying two tickets for a popular show where tickets were impossible to get. They were very excited and warmed by the gesture of the person who sent this. Inside the envelope, however, was only a piece of paper with a single line, "Guess who sent them."
The pair had much fun trying to identify the donor, but failed in the effort. They went to the theatre, and had a wonderful time. On their return home late at night, still trying to guess the identity of the unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of value.
And on the bare table in the more...

A young couple got married and went away on their honeymoon. After two weeks they came back and finally put away all of the presents they received from friends and family. Since this was a new home, the process took some time.
The silver went into the closet, items were put on the walls for display and some of the more intimate apparel was put in the bedroom drawers.
A week later, they received in the mail two tickets for a popular show where tickets were impossible to get. They were very excited and warmed by the gesture of the person who sent this. Inside the envelope, however, was only a small piece of paper with a single line.
"Guess who sent them."
The pair had much fun trying to identify the donor, but failed in the effort. They went to the theatre, and had a wonderful time. On their return home late at night, still trying to guess the identity of the unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of value.
And on the bare table in the more...

A young man who lived a great distance away from his family was unable to attend his father's funeral, so he called his brother and told him, "Do something nice for Dad and have the bill sent to me."
A few weeks later, he received a bill for $200, which he paid. The following month he received another bill for $200, which he also paid, thinking it was probably some incidental expense.
Every month thereafter he continued to receive another bill for $200 until, finally, he called his brother to find out what was going on.
"Well, you did say do something nice for Dad, so I rented him a tuxedo!" his brother explained.

An expectant mother went into labor and was being rushed to hospital, but she didn't quite make it inside. She gave birth to the baby on the hospital's front lawn.
A week later, she received a bill from the hospital which listed, 'Delivery Room Fee - $600'. She immediately wrote the hospital a letter reminding them that her baby had been born on the front lawn.
About a week later, she received an amended bill stating "Green Fees - $250.

A technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldnt read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into his typewriter to type the labels.