Scared Jokes / Recent Jokes

"What does love mean?" These are answers from 4 to 8 year olds.When my grandma got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toe nails anymore. So my grandpa does it for her now all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.
Rebecca - age 8When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouths.
Billy - age 4Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.
Kari - age 5Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs.
Chrissy - age 6Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.
Terri - age 4Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him to make sure the taste is OK.
Danny - age 7Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you more...

Santa: My Wife Is Still Scared Of Water Banta: How Come? Santa: Yesterday When I Went Home, She Was In The Bath Tub With The Security Guard!!----Santa To His Wife: Darling, Years Ago U Had A Figure Like Coke Bottle. Jeeto: Yes Darling I Still Do, Only Differnece Is Earlier It Was 300mlnow It’s 1. 5 Ltr.---–Nurse: Congrats Santa, You Are A Father. Santa: Don’t Tell My Wife, I Want To Surprise Her!

Big Louie the Torpedo was becoming increasingly curious about one of the newer members of his mob, Benny the Rod. Benny had been in the business for many years in another part of the country. During that time he had garnered quite a reputation for being the most conscientious and honorable hit man available. He was also considered quite eccentric, perhaps odd, in that for the last ten years or so he always kept one hand in his pocket - clutching his cold steel weapon in readiness (hence the nickname, Benny the Rod). When Benny arrived at Louie's office, the question was put to him. "So what's the story with you and this here gun of yours, eh? Like, are you scared or somethin' or you just want to always be ready or what?" "Not scared. .." Benny growled, "been doin' it dis way ever since me sister-in-law's weddin'' bout ten ten years ago now". "Oh yeah?. .. so. ..?" "Wel l, I used ta know her fiance at da time - a no good chisler. He never more...

People are scared to touch your wife's bathrobe.
Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.

As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in serveral night timeexcersises. Once, I was seated next to a Lieutenant fresh from Jump School. He was quiet sad looked a bit pale so I struck up a conversation."Scared, Lieutenant?", I asked.He replied, "No, just a bit apperhensive."I asked, "What's the diffrence??"He replied, "That means I'm scared with a university education."

As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in several night
time exercises. Once, I was seated next to a Lieutenant fresh from
Jump School.
He was quiet sad looked a bit pale so I struck up a conversation.
"Scared, Lieutenant?", I asked.
He replied, "No, just a bit apprehensive."
I asked, "What's the difference?"
He replied, "That means I'm scared with a university education."

A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news.
"So, did you jump?" the father asked.
"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!
"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.
"Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door."
"Did you jump then?" asked the father.
"I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told be to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt."
"So, more...