Scotch Jokes / Recent Jokes

The following supposedly a true story.
This guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21."
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give the scotch to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off of the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

The following supposedly a true story.This guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give the scotch to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off of the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar,' What'll you have?'

The guy answers,' A scotch, please.'

The bartender hands him the drink, and says' That'll be five dollars,' to which the guy replies,' What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this.'

A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender,' You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration.'

The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy,' Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don't ever let me catch you in here again.' The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says,' What the heck are you doing in here? I can't believe you've got the audacity to come back!'

The guy says,' What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life!' The bartender replies,' I'm very sorry, but this is uncanny. You more...

A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. The barman gives it to him and he gulps in down in one swoop.
"Hey buddy, you must be having it rough. Whats up with you?" says the bartender.
"Well, I got home early from work last night and found my wife and my best friend in bed with each other!"
"Thats terrible pal, the next drink is on the house." So the bartender gives him another triple scotch and again he gulps it down. "If you don't mind me asking, what did you say to your wife?"
"I told her I've had enough and I want a divorce!"
"Good for you! You said the right thing. So what did you say to your best friend?"
"Well, I walked up to him, looked him straight in the eyes and said... BAD DOG!"

A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch.
The barman gives it to him and he gulps in down in one swoop.
"Hey buddy, you must be having it rough. Whats up with you?" says the bartender.
"Well, I got home early from work last night and found my wife and my best friend in bed with each other!"
"Thats terrible pal, the next drink is on the house."
So the bartender gives him another tripple scotch and again he gulps it down.
"If you don't mind me asking, what did you say to your wife?"
"I told her I've had enough and I want a divorce!"
"Good for you! You said the right thing.
So what did you say to your best friend?"
"Well, I walked up to him, looked him straight in the eyes and said...
...BAD DOG!"

A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch.The barman gives it to him and he gulps in down in one swoop."Hey buddy, you must be having it rough. Whats up with you?" says the bartender."Well, I got home early from work last night and found my wife and my best friend in bed with each other!""Thats terrible pal, the next drink is on the house."So the bartender gives him another tripple scotch and again he gulps it down."If you don't mind me asking, what did you say to your wife?""I told her I've had enough and I want a divorce!""Good for you! You said the right thing.So what did you say to your best friend?""Well, I walked up to him, looked him straight in the eyes and said... BAD DOG!"

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.

The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."

The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."