Screwdriver Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The limousine was taking the beautiful raven-haired model to the airport.
    Halfway there, the front tire went flat.
    The model said, "Driver, I don't have time to wait for road service. Can you change it yourself?"
    The driver said, "Sure."
    He got out of the car and proceeded to change the tire, but couldn't get the wheel cover off.
    The model saw him struggling and asked, "Do you want a screwdriver?"
    He said "Sure! But, first I have to change this tire."

    Hammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one's enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.
    Screwdriver - The drink ordered at the local bar after you call in a professional repairman to undo the $500 in damage you did while trying to change out a light socket with your handy screwdriver.
    Phillips Screwdriver - The bar drink that you order when the damage estimate is over $1,000. Contains twice the vodka.
    Pliers - A device used to extend your reach the necessary few inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install.
    Multi-Pliers - Contain a handy assortment of sharp and dangerous tools. Best left in it's leather sheath and worn on a homeowner's belt to increase testosterone levels.
    Electronic Stud Finder - An annoying device that never goes off when you point it at yourself.
    Halogen Light - A work light that lights up your backyard with the incandescence of a football more...

    Hammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one's enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.
    Screwdriver - The drink ordered at the local bar after you call in a professional repairman to undo the $500 in damage you did while trying to change out a light socket with your handy screwdriver.
    Phillips Screwdriver - The bar drink that you order when the damage estimate is over $1,000. Contains twice the vodka.
    Pliers - A device used to extend your reach the necessary few inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install.
    Multi-Pliers - Contain a handy assortment of sharp and dangerous tools. Best left in its leather sheath and worn on a homeowners belt to increase testosterone levels.
    Electronic Stud Finder - An annoying device that never goes off when you point it at yourself.
    Halogen Light - A worklight that lights up your backyard with the incandescence of a football stadium, more...

    Q: What's the difference between Clinton and a screwdriver?
    A: A screwdriver turns in screws, and Clinton screws interns!

    Hammer
    In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain
    on ones enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on
    oneself.
    Screwdriver
    The drink ordered at the local bar after you
    call in a professional repairman to undo the $500 in damage
    you did while trying to change out a light socket with your
    handy screwdriver.
    Phillips Screwdriver
    The bar drink that you order when the
    damage estimate is over $1,000. Contains twice the vodka.
    Pliers
    A device used to extend your reach the necessary
    few inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down behind
    the new wall it took you two weeks to install.
    Multi-Pliers
    Contain a handy assortment of sharp and
    dangerous tools. Best left in its leather sheath and worn on
    a homeowners belt to increase testosterone levels.
    Electronic Stud Finder
    An annoying device that never goes off when you point it at yourself.
    Halogen Light
    A worklight that lights up your more...

  • Recent Activity