Sell Jokes / Recent Jokes

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism and scoliosis?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about Viagra?"
Pharmacist: "Of course."
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's more...

This is a true story:
A man was in a grocery store shopping, when he lit a cigarette.
The manager walks up to him and politely asks him to extinguish it.
The man refuses, saying " Well you sell cigarettes here, dont you?"
The store manager replies " Yes sir we do, and we also sell condoms."
The man quickly put the cigarette out.

A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of
problems selling
it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she told
her problem to
a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her,
"There is a
possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not
legal." "That
doesn't matter," replied the blonde,"if I only can sell the
car." "Okay,"
said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine.
He owns a car
repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter
in your car
back to 50,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell
your car
anymore." The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to
the mechanic.
About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did
you sell your
car?" "No," replied the blonde, "why should I? It only has
50,000 miles on it."

A blonde goes into an applance store and asks “how much is that tv. ” THe guy told her “Sorry we don’t sell dumb blondes stuff. ” The confused blonde goes outside and goes to the nearest beauty shop and ask to have her hair dyed. She puts lots of makeup on her face and paints her nails. Now the blonde (redhead now) goes back to the applance store and goes to the manager and says “I would like to buy this tv. ” The manager says sorry we dont sell dumb blondes stuff. ” How did you know it was me she asked? The manager says because thats not a tv that is microwave

I try to sell insurance to every telemarketer that calls me.

Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this small TV," he told
the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied. "Damn, he recognized me," he thought. he went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new hair color,
new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied. Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

1. Stand in front of a supermarket wearing a Santa suit, ringing
a bell and wishing everyone a Happy Hanukkah.

2. Wrap yourself in swaddling clothes and lay in the manger of
the neighbor's nativity scene.

3. Put on a Santa suit and open a mall kiosk that sells reindeer
jerky and Easter Bunny filets.

4. Call Park Rangers in your area and tell them Rudolph is sick.
Ask if you can borrow one of their reindeers. If they tell you
no, then yell at them telling them they are heartless bastards
for ruining Christmas for all the children around the world.

5. Wear a Santa suit to the nearest red light district and stand
on the corner saying "Ho! Ho! Ho!" as women walk by.

6. Get a job as a mall Santa and then tell all the children that
they've been naughty and won't be getting any presents this
year.

7. Create snow sculptures in your yard of snowmen in more...