Semi-annually Jokes

I heard these somewhere:
Minnie and Max had been married for 18 years. As Minnie grew
older and less attractive, Max became disinterested and his
libido started to wane dramatically. In desperation, Minnie
hauled him before a marriage counselor. The marriage counselor
listened patiently to Minnie's complaints and to Max's
protestations. Max said he was being nagged unmercifully
Minnie said that Max was causing her anguish.
Finally the marriage counselor issued a verdict. "Max," he said,
"from now on, no matter how you feel, you must give Minnie her
conjugal rights at least semi-annually."
Minnie was delighted and they left the counselor's chambers.
On the way downstairs she nudged Max, "Tell me Max, how many
times a week is semi-annually?"
Deep in the Tennessee hills, a farmer's mule kicked his mother-in-law
to death. An enormous crowd of men turned out for the funeral.
The minister, more...