Shore Jokes / Recent Jokes

While fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He knew how to swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any alligators around here?"
The beachcomber shouted back, "Nah! We ain't seen gators in these parts for years."
Feeling safe, the tourist began swimming leisurely towards the shore. About halfway there, he shouted, "Hey, how'd you get rid of the alligators?"
The beachcomber said, "We didn't do anything. The sharks got 'em."

An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. he booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life... at least till a hurricane came unexpectedly. The ship went down and was lost instantly.
The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts. Used to 4-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. But for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, longed for his old life, and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship.
One day, as he was lying on the beach, he saw a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. She rowed up to him. In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
"I rowed from the other side of the island, "she said, "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How more...

An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life.....till the boat sank. The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months he is lying on the beach one day, when the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
"I rowed from the other side of the island," she said, "I landed here when my cruise ship sank." "Amazing," he said, "you were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."
"Oh, this?" replied the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw material that I found on the island: the oars were whittled from gum tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a eucalyptus more...

A pirate with a peg leg, hook hand, and a patched eye walks into a bar and orders a beer.After the beer the bartender says,"I hope you dont mind me asking but why do you have a peg leg?"The pirate replies,"We were coming ashore and the ship tipped over and an alligator bit me leg off." After the next beer the bartender says"I hope you dont mind me asking but How did you get a hook for a hand?" The pirate replied "We were coming into shore and the alligator bit me hand off." After his last beer the bartender says,"I hope you dont mind me asking but How did you get the patched eye?" The pirate replied,"We were coming into shore when a bird pooped on me face and it was my first day with me hook."

Ed finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life- until the boat sank.
He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies... Nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asks her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
"I rowed from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."
"O, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw material I found on the island; the oars were whittled from gum tree branches; I wove the bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But-but, that's more...

Ed finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life -until the boat sank. He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies...nothing... only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asks her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
"I rowed from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing,' he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."
"Oh, this?' replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches. And the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But, but, that's impossible,' stutters more...

A male and a female killer whale were swimming off the coast of Japan, when the male looked up and saw the same whaling ship that killed his father several years earlier.
Excited at the possibility of being able to avenge his father's death, the male said to the female, "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time. That should cause the ship to turn over and sink."
They tried and, sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Shortly thereafter, however, the whales noticed that the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming toward the shore.
The male was enraged that they were getting away, so he said to the female, "Quick, let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."
This time, the female wasn't quite as cooperative. "Listen," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but there is NO WAY I'm swallowing seamen!"